Zombies, Pole Dancers, and Videotape

NOTE: This is a guest post by Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein. I know, I know… I don’t really accept guest posts. But this is Elizabeth we’re talking about here. She’s like the female me. So I figure it’s essentially like me writing the post, except that I get to play Rock Band while “I” am writing. Now that’s leverage!

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Go ahead and come up with a topic” sounds like this really cool and awesome thing when you’re guest posting.

Until you’re cuddled up in bed with your laptop. Thighs sweating from the heat of the battery radiating into your lap. Your 5 year old whining from being forced (?!) to watch SpongeBob on Netflix streaming, yet again. The deadline is 87 minutes away.

And your eyes are watering from squinting at the blazingly white, blank, TextEdit screen.

Yep. That’s me. A few seconds ago.

Right before I asked myself various lingo-filled classic marketing questions: “Okay EPW (yes I call myself that when I’m alone. Yes, I understand this is weird.), what is the Johnny B. Truant brand?”

What topic would resonate with his audience? What’s his target market? What are the JBT unique selling points?

And one word came to mind.

Zombies.

Not brilliant yet witty tag lines full of internet marketing profoundity. Not wordpress sites, not questioning the rules, not jam sessions, not zero to business. No.

Just. Zombies.

And that, my dears, is the entire freaking point.

To find your tribe, to evangelize your brand, to engage your readers, to build a sustainable business …

you must share the glorious zombiefication that is you.

Now of course, yours might not be actual zombiefication.

Yours might be a dozen slightly creepy yet soft & cuddly housecats. Yours might be a smoke-filled RV driving down that one-lane “rental car contracts invalidated” highway on the south side of Maui. Yours might be a nerdy NSFW tattooed pole dancer in a snarky tshirt, hiding her iPhone sexts from her 5 year old “thank god she can’t read yet” daughter. (Yes, that last one is me. Oy.)

But sharing your glorious zombiefication is not the big secret of today’s blog post. No.

The big secret is that you must find the particular flavor of the sexy zombie pole dancer that’s living inside of you.

And as much as I wish I could sell you a “magical fairies growing you money trees in your backyard” solution to this problem … yeah. Sorry about that. There are no freaking magical fairies who can see into your soul. (Well, if there are, I think they’re busy. I mean, if you were a magical fairy, you’d be spying on sexy naked people instead of looking into the murk of people’s souls? Am I right?)

The only way to find your zombiefication is to stop talking about whatever you’re talking about now, and start talking about your zombieficiation.

But oy, it’s not that easy to switch. Oh yes, I know.

You see, if you could read my blog posts from 18 months ago (you can’t, those babies have been obliterated from the internets. I hope.), they would completely freak you out.

Because those posts were written by a lawyer.

(Yes, I was the lawyer. Just wanted to make sure that anyone who’s reading this while drinking or after being up all night with a newborn was on the same page with the rest of us. Are we all caught up? Right. Carry on.)

Those post were boring fancifications, dense with complexities. Never offending. Never taking a side. They were pantyhose and ties (and not in a kinky way).

Those posts were vanilla.

After reading my blog, people would meet me in person. They’d say, “wow, you’re cool / funny / interesting / relaxed / casual / nice and look more young / fun / cute / approachable / warm than I thought you would be!” in this happy yet surprised voice. Oy.

But I couldn’t figure out how to write any other way.

So I had to stop writing.

For six months.

But in the meanwhile, I had to do something!! I had to keep giving away “valuable content” and keep doing all that new age “relationship marketing” stuff!

So instead of writing, I made video blogs.

About how to seduce me. About how goals suck, focus sucks, info products suck, the marketing funnel sucks. About my divorce. About walking on the moon. About my kid. About my life.

And after shutting up for six months, after making dozens of videos blogs, I found myself.

When I went back to writing, the comment section on my blog exploded. (Not actually exploded, that would be scary and rackspace would probably cancel my hosting contract. I just mean I got lots of comments.)

For the first time, I met, even exceeded my goals for selling my programs. I found my tribe. Was able to speak the truth that everyone thought & no one was speaking.

Claimed my weird. Had fun. Went on adventures. Found my ecstasy.

All because I shut up the how of how I had been speaking, and found myself another how to speak.

So here’s is my simple-yet-scary invitation to you.

If you can’t find your truth by writing a blog post, if one how is not working for you, shut that how up and speak somehow else.

Make video blogs or stupid comedy sketches or short-length documentaries. Zing 140 character one liners on twitter. Take snarky photos and post them to your Flickr account. Draw cartoons. Make apple butter. Proclaim your insanities from the top of a banker’s box at the corner of 3rd and Market.

Bottom line … shut the hell up.

And, maybe for the first time, you’ll finally start to speak.

And find your sexy zombie fluffy cat smoke filled RV pole dancer.

I can’t wait to meet her. (I bet she’s hot!! Make sure you get her on video.)

#thatisall

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Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein (or “EPW,” as she calls herself even in private) can teach you how to get your sexy zombie fluffy cat smoke filled RV pole dancer thing going, whatever that ends up meaning, whether you think you’re good on camera or not. You really should check out her Live Your Truth on Video course (it’s up now and will close soon… check it pronto) so that you can get in on her live Q&A session where she’ll do critiques and shit. Seriously. This is fun stuff, kiddies.


Now that you've read this post, go here:
WHAT DEFINES YOU?

Comments

  1. Linda says:

    Fun post, and since I break things down into themes…I’m getting:
    - ‘vanilla is exasperatingly flavorless,’
    - ‘you gotta step back to find/fly your freak flag.’
    - ‘pole dancing is never boring.’

    Thanks!

  2. Pantyhose and ties, but not in a kinky way! Aww but that’s the best way man… ;)

    And Johnny, you can definitely post Elizabeth’s stuff any day, even though I don’t really see her as the female Johnny. You’re both awesome in very different ways. :)

  3. delta waters says:

    ok, i’m officially making this part of my ZCP (zombie contingency plan)…EPW, never stop being you. you fucking freak!

  4. delta waters says:

    if i used emotocons they would be smiling,winking and thumbs up…i like the way you think (in case you didn’t get my drift)

  5. @Linda – hell yeah.

    @Nathalie – oh, I’m completely in favor of kinky pantyhose and ties. well, I’m more of a thigh highs kind of girl. but still.

    @delta – yes. and I’m all about being a fucking freak. :-)

  6. Freakin’ Weird Elizabeth. But yea, sounds just like Johnny.

    Zombies? Personally I like Team Eric with Sookie’s vampires. But then Halloween is coming…. and geez, that could be a whole month’s worth of posts.

  7. Annie Stith says:

    Hey, EPW!

    Freaking it is the only way to be.

    I’m figuring out my personal expression of Zombificity while laying on the couch, listening to New Kitty’s intestines gurgle, contemplating just how much freakiness to expose when I start blogging for real, instead of practicing while I build up social media and networking and all the other stuff that will help me run a business to help other freaks. (None of my of my Inner Zombie includes doing the social media thing. I’d rather have my toenails pulled out one by one by the local toenail freak.)

    Personally, I can’t wait to get to the writing and the video can come later. No one needs to see my Outer Zombie right off the bat or I might not build a following. ;)

    My pref’s black lacy thigh highs with patent leather ankle strap spikes, myself. Otherwise, may as well go barefoot. Which I do. Often.

    Annie

  8. @mary – oh yes, vampires = hot

    @annie – so impt to know what you don’t want. or, what you fucking hate. and you know, I’m back to doing a bit of video and writing *every day* … I ebb and flow. and, I am also a thigh high girl. 6″ platforms. mmm, yes.

  9. El Edwards says:

    Hmmm, between you and that Jordan and his guest post that I read just an hour ago, I feel like someone somewhere is trying to tell me something. I love writing and one the days I can switch off the edit pen, it’s awesome. But … hmmm.

    Off to draw. Don’t know what yet but something is telling me to get those pens out again.

  10. The timing of your post and the conversation I had with Johnny just last night is, to say the least, a little freaky!

    You know, I kind of get by writing “professional” stuff. But I just know that my whole game needs to be sexed up. My current mission is to allow myself to discover just what that looks like for me. And get it out there. Meantime, it’s terrific to find how you got out of your own closet – and be SO entertained reading about it in the process.

    Phenomenal!

  11. Marc says:

    The post itself was a little … well … trying too hard (sorry!). But when I clicked on the link to the “goals suck” video, things changed. I’m a fan. I just wish I had people like you to talk to on a regular basis. My world is so full of suburban conformists I want to shot myself. But I don’t own a gun. Anyway, I really enjoyed that video and came up with several ideas for my own apprehensive business idea … unapologetically based on JBT’s business model. Thank you. Now I’m going to spend some time on your site.

  12. Johnny says:

    Lot of pole dancing zombies reading this blog; that’s all I’ve got to say.

  13. You have made some decent points there. I checked on the weeb
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