The universe doesn’t give a flying fuck about you

I’ve been watching this show lately with my 6-year-old son, Austin, who likes learning about space and planets and black holes and stuff. It’s called How the Universe Works.

And man, the universe has one hell of a story to tell.

It all starts with, presumably, the Big Bang, wherein a single point in space barfs forth a hot, violent soup of particles and energy that take a few hundred million years just to cool down enough to begin coalescing into stars. You know… to “cool down” enough to become giant fucking balls of fire.

Stars ignite. Star clusters form, and become galaxies. Rocks in space start running into each other, and a few planets are created.

Eventually, the Earth is born. Hooray!

The Earth sits there for a few more billion years, until, after a lot of back and forth and general bureaucratic indecision, life shows up. Very, very recently, humanity, (which is perfect and unique if you ignore how random it all seems), makes its appearance. Hooray!

That lasts for a little while. Humans thrive. Invent the rotisserie. Build the internet. Watch porn.

After a bit, though (and this part of the story is still unwritten, but definitely coming) the sun sloughs off its outer layers, obliterating all of the inner planets as it dies. Then, as the fusion at the sun’s core that keeps it inflated runs out of raw materials, it collapses into a white dwarf, and the solar system weeps as it loses yet another great player to retirement.


After this, it gets really fun. The astrophysicists who used to think the universe was going to re-contract into the “Big Crunch” now say that the universe’s expansion is actually accelerating. Meaning: After enough time passes, the Earth’s old position (Earth having been blown away aeons ago, of course) will be so distant from anything else that you’d be able to look up into the sky and see absolutely nothing at all.

Quite a story, right?

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper

Deep, man.

I don’t know about you, but looking up into the sky on a clear night is enough to give me existential chills.

You’re not just looking up into a curtain of black. You’re looking into the eye of the universe. Stare for a while and you start to realize — on a deep, gut level — that the moon is a giant rock circling us in space. The sun is a violent, fusion-fueled ball of plasma and gas millions of miles away that destroyed the atmospheres of all of the inner planets (including Mars, which is farther away from it than we are) and would do the same to ours if we weren’t lucky enough to have a magnetic field that diverts the solar wind.

The cute little pinpricks of light you see out there are other giant, explosive, incredibly pissed-off balls of gas floating in an infinite void, most of which are far more impressive than our puny sun. And that smear of milky white through the sky? That’s the center of our own galaxy — a gigantic pinwheel circling a supermassive black hole like floating detritus around the vortex of a flushing toilet.

There’s a lot of crazy shit going on out there.

And in fact, the Earth could bite the dust at any time.

Comets. Asteroids. Apparently, there’s even a star nearby that may eventually go all black hole on us. When it does, it’ll shoot a jet of X-Men style radiation out of its poles, perpendicular to its accretion disc, directly at us. (The good news is that we’d never see it coming. We’d just suddenly be reduced to our constituent atoms.)

Even avoiding all of that, though, just buys us time. The Earth is not permanent. The sun is not permanent. The oldest stars alive today are not permanent. It will all end.

And in the middle of this story (because we’re the ones telling it), is us.

Here on our little blue planet. Here at this exact, tiny, special blink in time. Here, but only “here” in the way a beetle might be “there” on the sidewalk of Times Square during rush hour. Sure, the beetle can survive, but only for as long as it’s not in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Nobody’s out to get that beetle… but nobody’s watching where they’re stepping, either.

The city was there long before the beetle, and it’ll be there long after the beetle’s inevitable demise.

The city, always neutral, honestly doesn’t care one way or the other whether the beetle lives, dies, suffers, or thrives.

And you were worried that trying something new might make you look dumb or that your business might not make any money.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

The universe doesn’t care about you.

It can’t. It’s too big, with too much going on.

Maybe there’s a grand conductor, and maybe there’s not. I do happen to believe in God, or the Spirit of Life, or the Force for all I know, but regardless of belief or disbelief, one thing I know for certain is that no matter WHAT or WHO is out there, he or it doesn’t “care” if you define “care” in terms of life and death. Nobody is special. Nobody gets a pass.

Everything dies. Everything. You were born with a terminal disease, just like everything else that has ever existed. You, your lamp, the sun, and the Bee Gees all have that in common.

This, like the universe’s apathy, is neither good nor bad. It is simply a fact.

But this fact — the immutable, inevitable, impossibly obvious fact we will die as surely as we were born — is something we all deny for most of our lives. You’d think we’re never going to die, the way we cower and second-guess and fret over each little action. We act like what we do today will forever alter the flow of creation, of time, of space. Every move is vital. Each little event could upset the delicate balance. Everything is of paramount importance.

We can’t do things differently, because the system, however imperfect, works and is extremely delicate. We might upset it by thinking outside the box.

We have to weigh every decision, because a butterfly flapping its wings in Nova Scotia could cause a hurricane in Guam. Or, as Homer Simpson taught us, if you kill a mosquito in dinosaur times, Ned Flanders might become the unquestioned lord and master of the universe.

We can’t do something that might make us look ridiculous, because first impressions last forever.

We can’t try and fail, because then we’ll be ruined forever.

Think a scar (or a tattoo, for that matter) is permanent? It’s not. Your body was literally formed from stardust and will eventually return there. The duration of a scar doesn’t even register on the big time line. In fact, I heard that God watches jewelry commercials and LOL’s when they say that diamonds are forever. It’s all a big joke up there. There’s a drinking game in Heaven, where angels do a shot every time humans invest “for the long term.”

What are you so fucking worried about?

You are here now. Eventually, you will be gone. You have but a nanosecond on the universal clock to do whatever it is you’re going to do. When that time is gone, it’s gone. Forever.

That means that although what you do doesn’t matter to the universe, it should matter one hell of a lot to YOU.

In fact, it should matter to you more than it currently does. If you knew how small you are and how short a time you have to do what you can, you wouldn’t waste time watching five fucking hours of TV a day. You wouldn’t waste time doing a job you hate. You wouldn’t waste the little time you have dealing with assholes, feeling sorry for yourself, or being timid about the things you’d really like to do.

I’m 35, and it dawned on me just recently that it’s not at all long before I’ll be forty. And forty is FUCKING OLD in the mind of a guy with the mentality and sense of humor of a teenager. I mean, hell, you can make an argument for 30 being young despite the fact that the MTV crowd says different, but forty-something is what your grandmother was.

When I had this epiphany, a succession of uncomfortable and incredibly obvious realizations followed.

If I can turn 40, I can turn 50.

If I can turn 50, I can turn 60.

Once, I was a kid and everyone else was old. The tables will turn. I’ll be the guy that kids look at and see as old. Me. Fucking ME. Me, who was once out cruising on Friday nights, staying up until dawn. Me, who thought I was indestructible, who thought I was forever. Turns out I was wrong. Turns out I was just one in 6.8 billion, and very much subject to the same laws of time and space as everyone else.

One day, if I’m very lucky, I’ll be a shriveled 100-year old guy with a cane. An old man with a kid’s mind, wondering how the hell this could have happened.

Think about this. Now.

Think back five years in time. Remember what you were like. Realize how fast five years can go. Think about who you are today, the place you’re in and the age you are. Then step back into the shoes of your five-years-ago self and look at yourself as you are today.

I have two kids. That’s not possible. People like me don’t have kids. We’re too young. We’re kids ourselves, forever young and irresponsible. It’s ridiculous. I live in a house that I own. I pay bills. It’s crazy.

Think about it.

Realize that time will never stop. NEVER. You will never be younger again. It’s like being on a train with no stops that’s always leading you farther and farther from home… or closer and closer to home, depending on how you look at it. You can never get off that train. You can never board a train going the opposite direction.

If you missed a stop, tough shit.

If there was this great thing even just two miles back that you decided not to do, you can’t change your mind and go do it. That place is gone forever.

A simple example for me is skateboarding. I’d have loved to do that. And sure, adults can learn to skateboard. I’m a huge believer in “it’s never too late for X.” But really… REALLY… if you want to truly skate, that’s something for the young. I know I won’t be taking it up now, shredding through our concrete jungle.

In my past, there’s also an opportunity I could have taken advantage of that I didn’t, and that I wish I had. There’s a thing I got rid of that I really wish I’d kept.

But the train never backs up. Never. I missed those things, and I will never get a second chance.

Do yourself a favor, right now, and realize two things:

1. You will keep getting older, and then you will die.

2. Everything that’s ever entered your experience has lasted and will continue to last for only a brief moment in the life of the universe.

This is game time, champ. You’re in. You’re in, playing, right now, and the clock is ticking.

So stop wondering what it all means and how you’ll possibly ever do X and what people will think, and get on with your life already.

Stop being a pussy and go do something amazing.

Do epic shit.

I’m just now getting around to the end of the newer Battlestar Galactica series and something hit me when Dr. Baltar suited up with the troops for the end assault on the Cylon colony.

It’s this: Noble people do noble things.

That’s it. See, throughout the series, Baltar is a selfish asshole. He’s responsible for the annihilation of the human race, he betrays everyone, he forms a cult that rubs his chest and feeds him grapes.

But in the end, he does the right thing. And when I saw that, I realized that it doesn’t matter what you’ve done. What matters is what you do.

A whole series’ worth of being ignoble doesn’t stop a truly noble act at the end from being noble. The idea of “nobility” (or “good,” or “bad,” or “worthy,” or “awesome,” or anything else) is defined only by our actions.

You can’t be a bad person who does good things. If you do good things, you’re not bad; you’re good. There is simply no way to manifest badness other than by being bad. Anyone who’d argue that you can be bad while ultimately doing good things is just a douchebag philosophy major looking to get his ass kicked.

So what does this mean to you?

Why… it means everything. It means that in the small amount of time you have to live, you can be whatever you want. It means that even though the universe doesn’t care enough to give you what you want, it doesn’t care enough to stop you from having it, either. So embrace that anarchy, and take those things for yourself.

If you want to be awesome in this life, do awesome things.

If you want to be a leader, do some leading.

If you want to be an expert, do the things an expert does.

A few weeks ago, I talked to Trust Agents co-author Julien Smith, and soon after, he sent me this tweet:

For a moment, I wondered, “How the hell can I be more epic?”

But then I realized something really obvious. To be epic, all I’d need to do is to do epic shit.

So that’s what I’m doing, today and from here on out.

How to level up

Just do it. Claim it. Stop waiting for permission to be epic.

Most people think that they need to be tapped on the shoulder by the Epic Fairy if they ever hope to be epic, or if they’re ever going to have the audacity to do something truly epic. But it’s not true. Want to be epic? Just do epic shit. There’s nothing else to it.

People always say, “I wish I was amazing. I wish I was awesome.”

Fucking hell. Stop whining and just be it already. Be fucking awesome.

Nobody’s going to give you the gift of awesome. Nobody’s going to make you good, or great, or amazing, or epic. Nobody’s going to make you an expert or an authority or a voice anyone should listen to. Nobody’s going to level you up. If you want that next level, take it. Take it for yourself.

Grab it. Become it. Claim it.

Write a treatise. Create an event. Champion a cause. Build something great. Speak your mind. Make the call. Build the business. Author the book. Send the email. Do it. Do it.

If you fail, big deal.

You might write something and nobody might read it. You might build it and nobody might come. You could fail and ruin your life. You could take a chance and end up looking really, really stupid. Boo-fucking-hoo.

It doesn’t matter.

You are very small. We are all staring down the barrel of a gun, and we last only for the tiniest, tiniest moment in time. Your life is a one-way train, and any second you waste is a second lost forever.

You are that beetle on the streets of New York. The universe doesn’t hate you, but it doesn’t love you, either. You’re just an atom in its infinite workings. The universe doesn’t care if you live, die, suffer, or thrive.

Only YOU care.

If your life is to mean something, it’s up to YOU.

You cannot influence the movements of planets. You cannot live forever. You cannot affect the entropy of the universe. All you can do is to make this moment — your moment — better. You can affect the lives of others around you, and you can affect your own life. You can ease some suffering. You can do some epic shit. If you, yourself, only last for a nanosecond, you might expand your influence to a millisecond. And that’s something. Honest, it is.

You don’t matter to the planets and the sun and the stars, but you matter to YOU. You matter to those around you. You matter to those you can reach, and touch, and who you live and die with.

Stop waiting for someone to give you what you want. The universe is too busy to care. It has worlds to create and galaxies to destroy. If you’re worried about death and about your own end, don’t. It’s coming whether you like it or not. You will either arrive at the end of your life in style or you will arrive broken and beaten, but whichever way you choose, have no doubt that you WILL ARRIVE.

There is only now. If you have power, it’s now. If you can change anything, you have to do it now. If you want to be or to have that next great thing, be it. Have it. Take it. Own it. Do it. Become it.

Be awesome. Do epic shit.

Do it now. The clock is ticking.


NOTE: I wrote a follow-up to this post, so if you dug this, you might want to check out the other one too.

Now that you've read this post, go here:


  1. Joseph says:

    Wow. You absolutely dominated the Facebook likes on this post. Congrats.

  2. Jeff says:

    You made one mistake: You are one of 6.8 billion, not 6.8 million.

  3. Kellie Craft says:

    Love this article! You tell it like it is. Open, honest, and brilliant. You rock, Johnny!

  4. Peter Varley says:

    I was curious about your blog, and I like the article here; however, compared to my blogging you’re posts, yawn, are so damn long. I know you are successful at this, but as a reader I could not read the entire article. The subject you chose, the universe, is well presented.

    • Lol! Hahahaha…

      I love this!

      To me this comment is like writing The Beatles and telling them “Hey guys! Hey Jude is too long! I’m a musician too, and I know you’re doing well, but I just couldn’t listen to the whole song :D

      Read what you like and bitch not at all ;)

    • stewkelly says:

      LOL, can’t read this long blog post. Are you serious man? If this is too long to read, I guess you wouldn’t attempt reading an instructions pamphlet let alone a book.

  5. notneobullshit says:

    (sorry for my eng….fuck I’m apologizing every time:@ :P …..)
    Ok dude…i tipped something like “I’m feeling strange” or something like that..(yeah,2 times ‘something like’..stop me!) and i dont really know how i came to this this post…(i dont care).. an half hour ago i commented on somebodies post how i’m 23 y old (now,i mean young) and like i’m feeliong like a 2300 old,and just wanna salvation..bullshit is’n it?.. i dont care you will reasd this..but if you read should know that you saved a LIVE (i mean li’F'e. I have chould or had could just delete the ‘V’ and tipp a ‘F’ insted..but i chose not to)…nothing compared to a sun or a galaxy..but everything what it means to me..My life.and i’m gonna change it in a epic way

    • Johnny says:

      Man, on a personal note, I went through that at around 23 as well. It was a “what now?” feeling, since I’d gone through college and whatnot and didn’t know what to do next and why it mattered. I remember discussing it with a friend of mine at the time, about how we were only both in our early 20s and kept thinking about growing old and dying.

      I’ve seen it referred to as a “quarterlife crisis.” So in addition to thanking you for your comment, I just wanted to let you know that what you’re feeling isn’t totally uncommon.

      • ELisha Vee says:

        I concur… the first time it happened was when I reached 25. Now I’m in my 30-something-ness…. here we go again! ;-)

      • Dianne says:

        I had a similar feeling around age 27. I finally realized the things you have said only in different terminology. I don’t know the meaning of life, and probably never will. All I can do is the best that I can, every day with those I care about, and trust that it is the right direction I am going in. I am now 54, heavily engaged in the world around me, interested in the rest of it, and generally content not to know the ending.

        • Johnny says:

          That’s where I’d like to get to someday: content not knowing the ending. Because I think the very nature of the thing is to not know. I suspect that’s one of the very secrets of living.

          • Dylan says:

            Jeeez, I’ve been going through very similar situation dealing with mortality and the problems conciousness brings but I’m only 21! Too young to be thinking this much.. Need to get more done first

      • stewkelly says:

        I always wondered why older people told me life begins at 40. Guess you have a lot of stuff to work through before you can see clearly.

  6. 1 Trick Pony says:

    Good shit Johnny,
    I just turned 40 and it feels good. There’s a study out there that questioned the nearly dead “mostly in their 80′s” about the best years of their life. They answered overwhelmingly between 40 and 60. It’s key to not just go backwards and look at ourselves, but also forward in time. Your topic is epic, your writing is motivating. What leaves me empty is that it’s all been done before and even epic shit only matters to the nanosecond. And then your dead without any clue why we were even able to ponder this shit. I’m going to go communicate with a beetle, they must be a prefered creature considering there are 350,000 different species of them.

  7. I-Я-Baboon says:

    Don’t you just love the feeling of that sudden realization of something that has been there forever?

  8. Claudia says:

    Cracking good post. Shaking my head chuckling at some of the comments. From the perspective of 65 years on this planet, I can say with some confidence that life will have plenty of surprises for everyone. You can make a difference…or not. Good luck!

  9. Marcy says:

    Most epic blog post I ever read. Thank you. The timing couldn’t have been better <3

  10. Kriptodanny says:

    This is one of the most humorous post I’ve ever seen…full of candor,sincerity,and child-like questions ..I recommend you never abandon the child in you,my friend ..
    May I re-post this epic post on my blog?….you did an EPIC post ..worthy of Mark Twain maybe..or even better…love to you…even if you die right now,this very post will LIVE forever in the memory of humanity.. ..think….YOU ARE EPIC ALREADY….YOU JUST DON’T KNOW YOUR GREATNESS….
    Kiss to you from the immortal mahayogi:)

    love always..danny:)

    LOL…..This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a whimper
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..IS not really like that,but I love the verses…you see?..the world is NOT outside,is inside you…kiss:)

  11. Laura Gates says:

    Clocking in at 49 this year. Hearing you (or whoever you are channeling!) loud and clear Johnny B. This speaks to me: Be awesome. Do epic shit. Do it now. The clock is ticking.
    I need to stop waiting for permission to be Epic. I totally get it.

  12. ELisha Vee says:

    Carl Sagan, eat your heart out! Fantastic wake up call!

  13. Irin says:

    This all correct of course, the material world has a life span. But there is more than that. The scientists don’t know for sure what happens to the planets, to the Universe. They can speculate and build theories, but do we know for sure what happens to us after our physical bodies die? What happens to the Galaxies when they collapse? No, we can only speculate. We thought not long time ago that the world was flat. Today we think that the world has an end. Tomorrow, as our human mind develops further, we will think differently. We know nothing about the world we live in. Nothing. We know nothing for sure.

    • Johnny says:

      Yes, totally. Thank you for bringing this up. Even the top theoretical physicists say, “Ultimately, we’re just guessing.” Without waiting for the universe to collapse or fling out into nothingness, right here, today, the current thought is that rather than the universe having 3 dimensions, it actually has either 10 or 26. The possibilities raised by what we can’t and don’t know are endless, and when I get nihilistic, those notions give me some hope.

      • Mental Disorder says:

        Explain mental illness and its role in this world. Hell, explain to me why I shouldn’t just kill myself now because all I can contribute to this world is to evoke pity in people. Oops, sorry you tried to be epic and failed, over and over and over and over. Do what you’re good at. I’m not good at anything. Work hard at a skill and you’ll become good at it. I have worked hard at many skills and what do I have to show for it but “…”. Oh, you tried hard all your life and you still suck. See, this theory works for people who are successful. By that, I mean people who don’t know what. This is pointless. There is no point to life and my role is to die.

        • Lynn says:

          Hey, Mental Disorder … I can think of one good reason NOT to kill yourself despite all the problems. You have friends, family, perhaps children and other loved ones whom you’d leave without you. There’s always someone who cares .. even if it IS only one, and that’s a good reason to just keep on keeping on. Life is a valuable gift from the Creator. And I’ll miss your insightful posts on here too! Keep your head up, friend. Life isn’t THAT bad!

          Lynn in New Orleans, LA.

  14. Johnny: I have always wrestled and been haunted by my mortality – and the way you have spun it is so inspriing, so true, and so no-BS – just here it is! I’m going to live epic – at least I’m going to try – and remain inspired. Kudos to you man, I love your Blog!!!

  15. Alyssa Mollica says:

    I just got this link from a coworker, and all I can say is Bravo. Very well done. Glad to see the teachings of my parents weren’t just words I thought they made up in angry rants. As someone who is aspiring to do this epic shit you speak of…this is a great read.

  16. David Hunter says:

    Love this post! The time is NOW! Unfortunately, most people never realize this until it’s too late.

  17. Melissa says:

    THIS is the best thing i have ever read. On my way to read the follow up post now and have high hopes.

    You are brilliant, your writing style is witty and i love the f bombs thrown in there too. You write the way we ALL think.

    (I think i’m in love with you ;-) )

  18. Yes says:

    this changed my life. dunno who wrote it and what was intended but this was the tipping point. that moment you hear about, read about but will never understand until you experience it (and then you`ll never be able to explain it). The pure true internal realization of your being, essence, drive force, ego, mind that you only have one life and every second that passes is gone and over. We all know it. But do we all KNOW it.

    I was unhappy, sad, doing stuff, working a job, being places i didnt want to be. day to day. but in some way secure. scared perhaps. But i stayed there for 12 years. Depressed. Building this up. Knowing i wanted to be else where. Feeling like im not on my destined path, like i was meant for greater things(as cliche as that might sound)

    Its amazing how we adapt. Slowly slipping deeper into unhappiness, but adapting and getting used to it. Always a few steps behind the sadness. So you never realize how deep you sink. Yet stay there you do. Scared? comfort space? security? who knows, probably scared. and only once you snap out, if you do, will you realize where you were. Only once you experience the other side will you realise how dead you felt.

    I am 31
    i am now infinitely more happy in all aspects of my life, thoughts and being.

    so to the person who wrote this, and for what ever reason you wrote this. you have no idea. NO IDEA. Nobody does. Its way more than i can ever explain. I am alive. in an epic big way. Everything feels right and everything is right. Im exploding. If i stop and think, i feel like a part of my being has awaken, a part that feels me but was never there. I thank you. I thank you very much.

    • Johnny says:

      Hey, awesome that this helped you! You do know who wrote this, though, right? That’s me, the guy whose blog this is. :)

      Keep being awesome.

  19. I am about to turn 60. The whole damned deal has been a ride–good, bad, scary, horrific and glorious. The world opens as we get older, and we start really knowing we get to be who we are in big, bold, brash and shy colors.

    I wouldn’t trade 30 for anything–except the body parts.

    Thanks, Johnny for the epic blog.

    Best — MB

    • Johnny says:

      Thank you, Meredith! I’ll be 36 in a few weeks, and the mind starts churning… can I imagine myself as being 40? So I love to hear perspectives like yours. So awesome.

  20. Owen Greaves says:

    I have to say one thing, at the very least you have brought everything down to one point, just go out and do something. We can’t control what and will happen to the the universe, or the planet for that matter, we can’t control how our life will end, but we can control what we can do while we have the life we have. As long as we continue to breathe, the problem with your perspective is this for me, it’s cold, you make it sound self-serving.

    I have learned in my soon to be 55 years, helping enough people get what they want means, I’ll be OK. So how many people are better off because you lived?

    Not worrying about who will say what, and or what will happen to me comes down to one thing…you’re gonna die! ALL OF US!

    To do something EPIC to me means you have helped people, maybe mankind is some profound way. But more importantly, this EPIC thing was meaningful to you, it was and is so meaningful, that you would do it, and keep on doing it regardless of reward.

    Having said all that, my hat is off to you, you have shared a persective in a very moving way, I thank you for keeping it simple. I have often said, keep it simple, simple is hard enough.

    Take care and thank you for your perspective.

    • Johnny says:

      Yep, you’ve nailed it. My position is that no “screw up” of yours is going to influence the planets, so you should do what you want to do. For me, that’s trying to help improve some more ephemeral lives. Small things add up; I want my time to mean as much as it can mean.

  21. Margreta Funpine says:

    Yup. I gotcha. Nearly died in my sixties and that’s what shook my cage.

  22. Rhiannon says:

    Wow, I love this post. I makes me feel so small and insignificant. It’s nice to think that the universe does not hate you for mistakes because it too busy building new galaxies. I am not that old but for some reason I have always felt that time is very precious, even if it’s just for me.

  23. Ian says:

    Great article. Eloquently expresses much of what I believe too.
    I have a TV series recommendation for you – a BBC documentary series called “Wonders of the Universe”. It is a follow-up series to “Wonders of the Solar System”, and is just jaw-dropping. It discusses much of what you talk about in a very accessible way, and although may be pitched at an older audience than your son Austin, I’m sure he’ll love it.
    I discovered this post via a somewhat roundabout route, from another author’s website, to a podcast, to a purchase on Amazon of “You are dying and your world is a lie”, (wrote the first review there) and eventually from a link in that to here!
    I obviously have a lot of catching up to do with your blogs.

  24. Bridget says:

    I just found this today, and I love it, but also, I think the universe cares. I think we’re all part of the same thing and everything affects the whole. And in saying that, I think it may be more important to be authentically epic than if we were just flying through space on a big rock randomly.
    At 42, I’m loving becoming more me and showing up in the world that way. I am rewarded for it every time I do it!

    • Johnny says:

      Right, and assuming you found this via today’s post, I imagine you’ll agree that I’m not quite this nihilistic as a whole. But I do think we need to hear and know this message: Stop acting like you’re going to break the universe with your failure. Just do it already.

  25. alvaro says:

    Im not worried about inanimate objects flying around in space, not being sentient that would rule them out from thinking, i would of thought. Im worried about having no money and living a miserable life, did you only just realise that there is no God and break your religious programming that you Americans can’t seem to live without. Along with self pity, lying about Terrorism and representing the eternal victim, by perpetuating the lie your under constant attack from rogue elements. Not to mention your mawkish, twee, moralising, p.c. T.V. shows.

  26. Thanks for… a very epic post!
    - Sometimes we get another chance at that stop we missed on the train of life. I went backpacking round the world for a year when I was 35, even though I had a career and a mortgage and everyone else was 25. I wrote a book about it when I returned (you should read it ;) )
    - Sometimes we don’t get another chance. As a kid I would have LOVED one of those big medicine balls with a handle that you can just grab onto and bounce around like crazy. I could get one now of course but I sense the magic feeling wouldn’t be as intense…

    • Johnny says:

      I kind of wish I could turn off the time awareness sometimes… sucks to know it’s one direction only! But I like this much, much better than the alternative.

  27. Bec Robbie says:

    Hi Johnny, I hope you don’t mind but I wrote about this blog post on my website. Congratulations, what an amazing post to still have new people reading it and commenting on it so long after publishing it. You have helped shape my world.

  28. Mc says:


  29. Yes, the universe IS full of amazing things. If I recall correctly, that photo included with the article is of the collision of two galaxies and the resulting stream of gamma rays (or some kind of radiation) that was emitted as a result. Forget where I saw that but think it may have been some physics site I visited, or perhaps NASA. Read the story of that sometime. Absolutely amazing … and there is SO much we don’t know still out there. Perhaps things we haven’t even imagined. Yes. Amazing universe for sure and I know I will be exploring as best I can from the Earth as long as I live! I LOVE science!

  30. Manuel Nava says:

    ur dfntion of truth s d dfnition of fallacy-u drg phlosphy down a nw drain n tk a bnch o truth seekrs wit u/congrts 2 d folowrs

  31. Rick says:

    15 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. I WILL do something epic I’ll stop reading dumb repetitive articles like this one.

  32. Deborah says:

    I just found your site. It’s the day after Christmas and I’m taking time off from the job I hate for the holiday. I prayed for direction for my life and somehow I ended up here. Usually I’m not a fan of a bunch of profanity, but it fit so nicely with this article. It wouldn’t have been the same without it. You are freakin’ awesome and so is this site. Glad I found you before I woke up on my death bed with regrets. Blessings to you!

  33. Ruxman says:

    This post changed my life. I actually woke up the next day and altered my plans because of it.

  34. EternalSnow says:

    I’ve read this once last year, and I’m reading it again. So far in my 19 years that I’ve been alive, it’s been a roller-coaster of not speaking up for what I believe in, and then finally speaking up for what I believe in. I’ve always done something else, for someone else, after reading this blog of yours, it pushed me to seek out what I want. I do still like to help others, but I’m also not holding myself back. I’m not going to make myself suffer, and realistically, sure there will be times that I’ll regret, no matter how much I try not to, but that’s not going to stop me from doing something epic. I’m still under 20, and there’s still lots of years ahead. I’m alive, and I’m going to do epic things, thank you for the boost.~

  35. EternalSnow says:

    (if by any chance you’ve received this twice, feel free to remove this one) I’ve read this once last year, and I’m reading it again. So far in my 19 years that I’ve been alive, it’s been a roller-coaster of not speaking up for what I believe in, and then finally speaking up for what I believe in. I’ve always done something else, for someone else, after reading this blog of yours, it pushed me to seek out what I want. I do still like to help others, but I’m also not holding myself back. I’m not going to make myself suffer, and realistically, sure there will be times that I’ll regret, no matter how much I try not to, but that’s not going to stop me from doing something epic. I’m still under 20, and there’s still lots of years ahead. I’m alive, and I’m going to do epic things, thank you for the boost.~

  36. oldman says:

    What the fuck is this slop? What a waste of fucking 10 minutes!

  37. faptastic says:

    If the universe cares, it’s going to care through you.

  38. Halina says:

    Great….now I got that Calvin Harris song “Let’s Go”, in my head….

  39. Now THAT was some epic shit!

  40. Jonathan says:

    I think the universe is unemotional, if there is a God I believe he cares. The universal laws apply to everyone give love, get love, give money, get money, give epicness, get epicness, nice post.

  41. Juliana says:

    Oh I disagree, I think the Universe loves me to pieces. It must because I have a knack for fucking things up, epically. ;)

  42. derek bruno says:

    This post made me realize something…I’m gay

  43. Sandeep says:

    It’s nothing any one is ignorant about, yet, profound. We got to remind ourselves every now and then that the ‘Universe indeed doesn’t give a flying fuck about us’. Thanks for the reminder.

  44. How ironic I was just browsing for blog tips to go viral and I stumbled upon this site. Great post bro; just what I was looking for!

  45. bill says:

    I’m 87 and I don’t care about the universe. I won’t look back at my life and regret anything I have done or not done. Life’s too damn short for any feel good crap. What’s done is done and can’t be changed.I have not deliberately done anything to harm anyone but as the old truism says “shit happens”. I think Einstein said it best “Reality is an illusion a very persistent one.”. Not ready to check out yet ,but have had some close ones.

  46. Lynn says:

    I LOVE this blog. What an attitude. You are awesome Johnny. You made it into the ranks of awesomeness. Me, I’m just sitting down here in New Orleans going crazy taking photos and shooting video. We even had a hurricane come through here a few years back and just about blow us all off the planet.

    Last year, we had an anniversary hurricane. Isaac. That badass decided it needed to visit us RIGHT in the middle of our Katrina anniversary stuff. Sio, I’m sitting down here watching and listening to the wind blow and wondering what was going through HIS mind when he decided to come HERE and visit. Anywhere else would have been okay … but NOT NEW ORLEANS on the anniversary of the flood.

    I’ve concluded. … the Universe doesn’t give a flying fuck!

    Okay … have a great week Johnny in all your awesome cynicism :)

    Lynn, still in New Orleans, LA.

  47. JMB says:

    Stumbled upon this by accident and love it. I am a teacher and wish I could read this in its entirety to every class….

    You nailed it my friend

  48. Rock the Camels Ass my man. Awesome read! Thank you!

  49. Noelle Imparato says:

    Lots of nice stuff in there. Yet you make one big mistake. THE UNIVERSE DOES CARE ABOUT YOU because you are part of the universe. You are part of the consciousness that gives birth to the universe and that keeps expanding as the universe expands. It’s not that everything dies, it’s more that we are a tiny cell of a giant living body. Just like with our own body, cells die all the time but their short lives are indispensable for the life of the body to go on. You could look at yourself the same way. You are perhaps no better than a beetle in a large Kosmos, yet without that beetle and all the others like you the Kosmos would not be able to keep living its life. And don’t forget that the external mapping of the Kosmos is done by your inner consciousness. Consciousness is built in the Kosmos and to separate the two is to surrender to the “modern” view. Man, it’s time to move on to the post-modern era, where the mapmaker is an intrinsic part of the mapping.


  1. [...] to add: as soon as I hit publish, The Bink posted this link to The Universe Doesn’t Give a Flying Fuck About You – which – funny timing. Now I am off to do something fucking [...]

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