73 Comments on Um, words…

Trish on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 1:31 pm


Johnny B. Truant, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!

I’m serious.

There are very few things I enjoy more in this world than talking about other people’s shit-ass grammar. The newest “fad” (notice the appropriate use of quotation marks) in bad grammar on the web seems to be incorrect apostrophe use. The “its/it’s” rule could NOT BE SIMPLER, and yet I constantly – CONSTANTLY – see people saying things like, “Put it in it’s place.” That is when I put my hand through the screen and scream in impotent rage. It’s getting expensive.

So remember:

“It’s” = “It is”, not possessive of “it”
“Who” vs “that”: use “who” when referring to people, “that” when referring to objects
“Pique”, not “peak”/”peek”
“Realtor”, not “real-i-tor”
Apostrophes are never used to indicate plurality (”fifteen mothers”, not “fifteen mother’s”)
“Into” and “in to” are not the same thing
“At all” are two words. As are “a lot”.
“Who’s” = “Who is”, not “whose”

Jay on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 1:38 pm


This were an funny post.

Johnny B. Truant on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 1:45 pm


I’m retarded. I attempted to answer Trish via email for some reason. Here’s my reply:

I also enjoy “loose some weight” and get all angry when people talk about the 1980’s. The 1980’s what? The rule is supposed to be that you can use the apostrophe when not using it could cause confusion (like the Oakland As… Oakland as what? As San Francisco?)… and then I get all mad at myself when I decide I need to use an apostrophe for something like that.

Mike on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 2:00 pm


Johnny, you’re right on with this one. There are so many people out there that apparently just don’t care. Ignorance is a flimsy excuse at best – it’s not that hard to get it right. Let’s buy a clue, folks. Spell checkers don’t know about homonyms.

My new peeve is peddle versus pedal. You’re far more likely to get somewhere on your bicycle by pedaling than peddling.

Jenny Ryan on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 2:01 pm


I said, “Do you know the rule for when you’re supposed to say ‘were’ versus ‘was’? Like, ‘If I was/were you’?”

YES, YES I DO!! Oh, thank God there is someone else who understands the concept of the subjunctive in English!!

Also: People who misuse “myself”-ESPECIALLY business people, who think it makes them sound more professional to refer to, “The super-important project headed by Tom and myself”-make me want to stab myself in the face. And then I want to stab them. And maybe feed their bodies to sharks.

Grammar snobs, unite!

Johnny B. Truant on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 2:17 pm


Who knew grammar was such a hot button?

Mike on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 2:37 pm


Despite the amount of sloppiness that we see on a daily basis, there are still a goodly number of people who do care about grammar. Have you read Copyblogger’s Inigo Montoya post? Brian got hundreds of comments on that one.

http://www.copyblogger.com/commonly-misused-words/

Casey on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 2:44 pm


OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod – all the talking heads using “an historic occasion” during the election were killing us (OK, just me and Dave, but still). And we totally did the “is it AN hysterectomy” or how about “AN hammer”?

And you need to get the fuck out of my head, because I’ve been kicking around ideas for my first blog entry and last night I decided to do the word rant and then today I read this. Grrrrr.

Incorrect acronym usage is great for rage, too: “ATM Machine,” “PIN Number (and PIN#),” are the ones I see the most. Don’t even get me started on menus that offer a “french dip sandwich with au jus sauce.”

Trish on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 3:22 pm


Hey Mike – it’s, “There are so many people out there who…”, not “that”.

MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh, I’m sure you’ll get some nimrod on here saying, “You’re all such nitpickers, it doesn’t really matter, people know what I really mean, you need to lighten up.” (And yes, I purposely used the run-on sentence.)

My philosophy has always been that without proper grammar, we can kiss any hope of communication goodbye.

Mike on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 4:01 pm


Trish, you’re absolutely right. Perhaps someday I will learn to proofread my comments The funny thing is that I got it right in my second comment.

Kyeli on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 4:18 pm


There’s a “blog” of “unnecessary” quotation marks. Perhaps you’ll enjoy it.

Perhaps it’ll make you want to “kill” someone. Either way.

Trish on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 4:50 pm


I’ve discovered my new hobby – unnecessary quotation marks. In unexpected places.

Oh “my” God, that “website” was “so” hysterical. “I” loved the “meat” sign. “I” think “I” am going “to” start “taking” pics of “these” bad signs I “see”. “Allegedly.”

PS I think that response from Mike (or is it “Mike”?) above is actually code for, “Shut it, bitch!” Or maybe that’s just me projecting?

Mike on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 5:26 pm


Trish, that response hadn’t even occurred to me until I read your comment. Either I’m a nice guy or I’ve been “domesticated.” Feel free to pick the alternative that you find most amusing. And I hope that those quotes are sufficiently “inappropriate” and “unnecessary”

Johnny B. Truant on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 5:50 pm


My mother has suggested that I add this actual sign from a butcher shop in Detroit:

“We outta meat. We closed.”

Karenv on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 10:50 pm


Bless your lil’ heart. (All of a sudden I’m a little confused about the use of that apostrophe.) Nice post. I’m so tired of the ignorance and/or laziness in so much writing these days. When I was at university, we were taught good grammar and spelling show respect for your reader. Pretty basic stuff. Thank you.

Now, how ’bout a post on the overuse of the word “that?” Crazymaking.

Trish on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 10:54 pm


No, Karen, that was a completely appropriate use of the apostrophe (to represent missing letters in a colloquial expression, such as “ol’” or “’til”). See? You got it right in “’bout”, also. Nice job.

Alice on Thu, 30th Apr 2009 11:01 pm


I moved to Texas after a productive childhood in California. People here do NOT speak the language. I have a list of issues with the way people here use language, but by far the largest of my complaints is the ridiculous use of “whenever” instead of “when.” As in, “Whenever I was at the mall, I saw the cutest shirt.” Seriously. I hear at least one example of that every single day. Also, for some reason, people here will “cut off” lights instead of turning them off. I don’t know why.

Monique on Fri, 1st May 2009 1:55 am


My dad told me WEBELOS stood for “We’ll be loyal scouts,” which is grammatically correct.

I tend to very picky with others’ grammar. My dad says I’m pedantic. When someone says “if I was you,” though, it’s just plain wrong. I mean, you obviously never were me. The most common error that annoys me is “there’s two of them.” There is?

I remember at a Bible study, Bathsheba was described as “the woman David who committed adultery with.” I gasped, scandalized. It’s “the woman with whom David committed adultery.”

I actually have no problem with “an historic occasion.” Someone’s just trying to sound British. I don’t actually know anyone British to know how they would pronounce the h, but I can hear “an hurricane.”

Tyson on Fri, 1st May 2009 7:34 am


Johnny,

I saw the link to your blog on an old Mens Health Forum post of yours. After noticing your avatar and screen name of Heroin Bob (SLC Punk is a favorite of mine) I had to visit. I can only imagine how many times you cringed while reading threads by people who don’t know the difference in lose and loose. “I am really interested in loosing weight, but don’t know where to start blah, blah, blah,” That always irritates me and I am in know way a righter of your experience. Enjoyed the read, thanks.

Tracy on Fri, 1st May 2009 8:59 am


I love you. Seriously.

I thought I was the only person in the world who felt this way. I am SO glad to see I’m not! I love when others share my pet peeve!

Johnny B. Truant on Fri, 1st May 2009 11:17 am


Monique: I actually wrote this post a while ago, and can no longer find the original page about WE Be Loyal Scouts, but it WAS there, and it WAS an official Cub Scouts page. Today, it looks like it’s 50/50. A bunch of sites say WE, and a bunch say WE’LL. I was certainly taught “we.” I think this is revisionists working to erase the idiocy of the past. Ministry of Truth shit, fo sho.

Tyson: Jesus, what an obscure trail. Glad you made it.

N.C. Winters on Fri, 1st May 2009 1:56 pm


Damn it Kyeli- you beat me to it!

I have most of the aforementioned peeves about grammar, though I’m probably one of those who constantly butchers many of the rules. One of my peeves is the butchering of cache with people pronouncing it ka-SHAY. It’s KASH, dammit!

Another great book if you’re an OCD language lover is The Big Book of Beastly Mispronunciations : The Complete Opinionated Guide for the Careful Speaker: http://tinyurl.com/dauluk

Talk about loving language to the point of constipation! For example, did you know that it actually IS pronounced HOM-age as opposed to o-MAJ? Yes, I didn’t know that you actually do need to pronounce the H.

I’m with you on the Goldfish ad jingle- I remember that one and thought the same thing at the time. Nothing brings to mind ‘delicious snack’ like decapitation!

Johnny B. Truant on Fri, 1st May 2009 3:22 pm


I’ve got one:

“Forte” is pronounced “fort,” not “for-TAY.” But try pronouncing it that way and see how many people think you’re retarded.

So did you folks know the “nauseated” one? When I first heard that, I was like, “Fuck off… I’m not paying attention to that one.” But then I realized that now that I knew it was correct, there would be no resistance.

N.C. Winters on Fri, 1st May 2009 4:23 pm


I didn’t personally on my own myself know the difference between when to use nauseated versus nauseous. I did always get confused though, when my wife would say “I feel nauseated” and I would think “what’s making her nauseous?” and then my brain would explode over which was the correct term.

How about the fact that inflammable and flammable mean the same thing? Or: that there are actually two correct pronunciations for “the”. You use the “THEE” pronunciation before words that start with vowels, and the “THUH” when it’s a consonant. Pretty intuitive, but I had never thought of it before.

…Myself.

Trish on Fri, 1st May 2009 4:34 pm


Oh, here’s a good one too – “foyer”. Every time someone pronounces it “foy-yer” (rhymes with lawyer), I die a little bit inside.

But I’m with you both on “cache” and “forte”….If we’re going to steal words from other languages, the LEAST we could do is pronounce them correctly.

And thank you NC – I didn’t know it was pronounced HOM-age. I wonder if it’s pronounced wrong because we like to put on airs and pretend we’re french?

And if we’re going to talk about mispronunciations, here are a few to chew on: acrossed, affidavid, athelete, chomp at the bit (should be “champ”), expresso (and as a Sicilian it irks me even more), heighth (this makes me crazy), and the kicker – orientate.

Trish on Fri, 1st May 2009 4:40 pm


I apologize to the French people for neglecting their capital “F”. I’d also apologize for the murder we’re committing against their language when we mispronounce the French words we’ve “borrowed”, but I don’t have that much spare time.

Also? Capital/capitol, and principal/principle. Most people have no clue.

C. Andres Alderete on Fri, 1st May 2009 9:25 pm


I was a Cub Scout too, but my dad kept dropping me off at the meetings when he was drunk, so I was kindly removed. I blame my not being a real man on its absence.

Andy Pels on Sat, 2nd May 2009 2:56 am


From THE official Boy Scouts of America site (http://www.scouting.org/Media/LOS/All/W.aspx), not some local cub scout pack’s site that was put up by a drunk guy and/or found by a drunk humorist:

“Webelos Scout
(Pronounced WEE-buh-los.) A Cub Scout who has completed the third grade or is age 10 but has not yet completed fifth grade or reached age 11 1/2, and is a member of a Webelos den. The word “Webelos” (means WE’ll BE LOyal Scouts) should always be used as a modifier, never as a noun.”

You know what grammar thingy I was guilty of for about 41 years and I still struggle with because of habit? I did it ON PURPOSE. I did it BY ACCIDENT. I always always said ON ACCIDENT and never gave it a second thought until some asshole pointed out the error. Now I say, “I did it… …BY… …ACCIDENT.” and then I vomit.

Andy Pels on Sat, 2nd May 2009 3:05 am


And sorry French, but your language is all twisty anyway.

Miriam Webster online:
“In forte we have a word derived from French that in its “strong point” sense has no entirely satisfactory pronunciation. Usage writers have denigrated \?fo?r-?t?\ and \?fo?r-t?\ because they reflect the influence of the Italian-derived 2forte. Their recommended pronunciation \?fo?rt\, however, does not exactly reflect French either: the French would write the word le fort and would rhyme it with English for. So you can take your choice, knowing that someone somewhere will dislike whichever variant you choose. All are standard, however. In British English \?fo?-?t?\ and \?fo?t\ predominate; \?fo?r-?t?\ and \fo?r-?t?\ are probably the most frequent pronunciations in American English.”

I say poop. That sounds French.

Andy Pels on Sat, 2nd May 2009 3:26 am


Trish – rather than
“There are very few things I enjoy more in this world than talking about other people’s shit-ass grammar.”
shouldn’t it be
“There are very few things in this world I enjoy more than talking about other people’s shit-ass grammar.”
?
And does shit-ass really need to be hyphenated, or is that just your way of making shitass fancy-like?
And isn’t it best not to begin a sentence with a conjunction?
And while we’re on the subject, conjunction junction, what’s your function?
I’d better go before the dude with the apple gets mad and smothers me with his abnormally huge hand.

Johnny B. Truant on Sat, 2nd May 2009 6:29 am


Nobody pay attention to Andy. I mean, if he’s a Cub Scouts shill, who knows what the fuck else he could be wrong about?

unfinishedrambler on Sat, 2nd May 2009 10:39 am


First, who wrote this post? Johnny or Trish? I’m a little confused. Either one of you like to comment?

Second, about “Almond’s Joy got nuts, Mounds don’t,” Mounds is a singular candy product; therefore, “don’t” is correct. Of course, my use of semi-colon is probably not correct. You and Trish be the judge.

Third, as someone (either you, Johnny, or Trish, whoever’s blog this is) who is a regular twitterers, you two are regular contributors to bad grammar and spelling, so quit complaining.

Trish on Sat, 2nd May 2009 11:54 am


Actually, it’s not “Almond’s Joy got nuts, Mounds don’t,” as you state above, it’s “Almond Joy’s got nuts, Mounds don’t”.

Oh honey, thank you for giving me a chance to exercise my (not-so) inner Grammar Nazi…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

First, Johnny wrote the post, of COURSE. You can tell because it’s actually funny.

Second, I’ll address your error first, and then deal with Hershey’s problems.

You, my dear are incorrect. “Don’t” is used for plurals in the third-person, “doesn’t” for singular. For example:

He (third-person singular) doesn’t have a car.
They (third-person plural) don’t have a car.

So it should be (assuming “Mounds” is singular), “Mounds (It/He/She) doesn’t have nuts.” Is it the “s” at the end throwing you? Remember, “Mounds” is a proper name, so the “s” is not (necessarily) indicating pluralism (more about this below).

Now, assuming the phrase is, “Almond Joy’s got nuts, Mounds don’t,” it’s possible you’re getting confused with the second-person singular/plural: “You (singular) don’t have nuts.” Remember, unlike Spanish, English has no second-person plural (colloquialisms like “y’all” excluded). Spanish has (and I believe other romance languages have) a second-person plural; in Spanish it’s “vosotros” (informal) and “Ustedes” (formal).

Or maybe it’s the first-person singular/plural you’re thinking of: “I/we don’t have nuts.” Remember, first- and second-person (whether singular or plural) in the English language use “don’t”: I/You/We don’t.

Regardless, remember we’re talking about third-person, so singular is “doesn’t” and the plural is “don’t”.

How could Hershey’s have fixed the jingle? Well, it _could_ have been made plural, although then it would conflict with the first part of the jingle because “Almond Joy” is treated as a singular. (”Almond Joy’s got nuts,” is another way of saying, “Almond Joy has got nuts”. If “Almond Joy” was being treated as a plural, it would be, “Almond Joys have got nuts”. And don’t get me started on the grammar rules their usage of “got” breaks.)

You could argue that the phrase is actually, “Almond Joys got nuts” – meaning Almond Joy is plural. The colloquial way in which they use “got” is acceptable either with plurals or singulars (”I/you/he/she/they/we got plenty of money”). If this is true, then both Johnny and I are wrong, and the jingle is correct as it is (”Almond Joys [third-person plural] got nuts, Mounds [third-person plural] don’t”). BUT, I Googled it, and although I couldn’t find an “official” word on this (on the Hershey’s site), most of the websites I found agreed that it’s “Almond Joy’s got nuts”, not “Almond Joys got nuts”.

The most grammatically correct option would be to eliminate the colloquial “got”, replace it with “have” (and make “Almond Joy” plural in the process), which would let them keep the “Mounds don’t”: “Almond Joys have nuts, Mounds don’t,” making both candies plural. But as it stands, it’s wrong. I understand both the choice to keep the “don’t” (to rhyme with the other part of the jingle: “Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.”) and the need to keep the “got” (for the informal feel).

So it’s up in the air at this point; is it “Almond Joy’s got nuts”? Is it “Almond Joys got nuts”? The answer to that question will indicate whether the rest of the jingle is grammatically incorrect.

And third, Twitter is a poor example, for several reasons: 1. Twitter limits us to 140 characters, so often we have to use “creative” spelling and grammar to fit our thoughts into the space allotted, and 2. Suck it.

God, I need a cigarette now…

unfinishedrambler on Sat, 2nd May 2009 12:01 pm


D’oh. You’re right, but damn, you’ve got too much time on your hands, don’t you? I don’t smoke, but after that response, I need a cigarette too. Johnny, do you want to weigh in with your normal “F— You.”

Johnny B. Truant on Sat, 2nd May 2009 12:18 pm


1. How the hell can you not know whose blog this is?

2. On what planet is “Almond Joys got nuts” acceptable? SOMETHING is wrong with that jingle. In order to make the second part work, you have to fuck up the first part. Someone at Mars should be caned, and we all know it.

C’mon… you can’t say “I got money” unless you mean that you went somewhere and received it. “I got money” (meaning that you’re rich) would be grammatically incorrect. If you mean that you HAVE something (like Almond Joy has nuts) and insist on using “got,” you’d have to say, “Almond Joys have got nuts.” (Similarly: “I have got money” or “I’ve got money.”)

Trish on Sat, 2nd May 2009 12:25 pm


Andy:

In my best Jerry Springer guest voice, “OH NO YOU DI’INT!” Sit yo bitch-ass down and shut the fuck up, and I’ll teach you a thing or two:

First, my phrasing, while perhaps not as mellifluous and roll-off-the-tongue-y (yes that’s proper English, see the hyphen-y goodness?) as yours, is still proper English. Besides, I believe your phrasing could do with a “that” placed after “world”. But all these are really just style preferences; we’re both correct (I know, I’m disappointed too).

Second, yes, shit-ass needs hyphenation because the LAST time I read the dictionary cover-to-cover (so, Thursday), shitass was not a word. But maybe in your official Cub Scout dictionary it is. I wouldn’t know; I was a Brownie (yes, I’ve heard that joke too).

Third, yes, it is considered acceptable to begin a sentence with a conjunction. Shit, if Shakespeare did it:

So sweet was ne’er so fatal. I must weep,
But they are cruel tears. This sorrow’s heavenly,
It strikes where it doth love.
(Othello)

then who am I to argue with it? Are you saying you’re better than Shakespeare? Huh? Huh? Are ya? Bastard.

PS. Conjunction (def.): A conjunction is a joiner, a word that connects (conjoins) parts of a sentence. EVERYONE knows THAT. Geez.
PPS. It’s not his hand you have to worry about. Just sayin’.

Johnny B. Truant on Sat, 2nd May 2009 12:36 pm


You two want me to give you some privacy?

Trish on Sat, 2nd May 2009 12:37 pm


Johnny, Johnny, Johnny (condescendingly shakes head). You just didn’t read my entire comment, did you? Your eyes started to glaze over around the second paragraph, didn’t they (hey, MINE did, and I was WRITING the fucking thing).

I distinctly recall writing (and oh look, there it is!), “And don’t get me started on the grammar rules their usage of ‘got’ breaks.”

I also remember writing, “The colloquial way in which they use ‘got’…”, and that the most grammatically correct option would be to change to the jingle to, “Almond Joys have nuts, Mounds don’t,” (plural for both).

So no, I don’t think their usage of “got” is at all acceptable; it is a colloquialism that is fairly common, though, and although that doesn’t mean it’s proper English, that does mean that it’s understandable that they would want to use it for its casual feel.

I’m not sure if I agree with your modification of “got” by adding “have”. Kind of feels like dressing mutton up as lamb, if you know what I mean (I know, that’s a crappy analogy but it’s the best I could do right now). If you’re going to try to correct the grammar, you might as well toss out the “got” entirely. Shit, if you’re going to put the “have” in there, toss the “got”. But I think each of us is preaching to the choir: Got is bad, check; someone (or several someones) at Hershey’s should be beaten, check.

Great, now I’ve typed it enough that it doesn’t even look like a word to me anymore. NICE JOB, JOHNNY B STINKER.

I definitely feel like caning someone now.

Trish on Sat, 2nd May 2009 12:38 pm


Hmmm, after talking about caning, I *am* getting a little turned-on.

Johnny B. Truant on Sat, 2nd May 2009 1:07 pm


Why isn’t Trish responding to my latest comment?

Andy Pels on Sat, 2nd May 2009 1:07 pm


I was just going to say, this is kind of hot. Maybe it’s because my mother truly is the grammar expert (editor by trade) that I half-assedly pretended to be, just to get a reaction from Trish.
That’s sick. Please don’t tell me Trish has really long hair she usually wears in a braid. I can’t afford therapy in this economy.

And just so you know, being a male human who is, by nature, just looking for attention, this is what I read in your post.
“Andy:
Something, blah, something “OH NO YOU DI’INT!” Sit yo bitch-ass down and shut the fuck up, wah, wah, wah, wah [hear Peanuts schoolteacher voice]:

First, wah, wah, wah, wah-tongue-wah, wah, wah, wah hyphen-y goodness?) as yours, wah, wah, wah, wah

Blah, yes, shit-ass wah, wah, wah, wah shitass was not a word. You got me to write shitass. If you dress up like a Cub Scout I will dress up like a Brownie.

wah, wah, wah, wah Shakespeare did it:

So sweet was ne’er so fatal. I must weep,
But they are cruel tears. This sorrow’s heavenly,
It strikes where it doth love.
(Othello)
[far be it from me to tamper with Shakespeare]

wah, wah, wah, wah Huh? Huh? Are ya? Bastard.

PS. I want you so bad, Andy.
PPS. I (Trish) am accusing Johnny of preparing to assault your :”

How much do you charge for a session of caning, anyway?

Andy’s P.S. – I know this is chicken of me, and you’re not stupid, and it kind of ruins it, but I have to make sure you know I am totally kidding about all of this. Thanks for the fun Johnny.

diesel on Sat, 2nd May 2009 11:54 pm


This post seems familiar. Like I read it in a book or something.

Johnny B. Truant on Sun, 3rd May 2009 8:50 am


Don’t you dare imply that I dug an old post out of the deepest archives and changed the date, on Thursday, while wearing a hat. Don’t you dare.

diesel on Mon, 4th May 2009 2:34 pm


Well, if you want to do something even less original, check this out: http://www.mattresspolice.com/default.aspx/The-Retarded-Meme?PostID=698

I’ve tagged you for my Retarded Meme!

Trish on Mon, 4th May 2009 10:22 pm


Hey Andy – Since you’re a guy, it shocks me not in the least that you:

a. made up some non-existent sex-related message in my comment, and
b. didn’t hear a word I said that wasn’t, even in the vaguest sense, sexual.

So really, you’re just living up to my expectations. And also, I do have very long hair, but I don’t wear it in a braid (what am I, 60?). Good luck with the therapy.

P.S. Yes, I totally knew you were kidding. Sheesh, I might be a grammar nazi, but I’m not completely without a sense of humor. Shit.

Trish on Mon, 4th May 2009 10:23 pm


Oh, and JBT – you were wearing a hat? Just a hat?

Disturbing image. But glad to know I’m not the only person who blogs semi-naked. What?

Casey on Tue, 5th May 2009 1:41 am


Just another opinion, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/forte

Pronunciation:
\?fo?rt; 2 is often ?fo?r-?t? or fo?r-?t? or ?fo?r-t?\

“Usage writers have denigrated \?fo?r-?t?\ and \?fo?r-t?\ because they reflect the influence of the Italian-derived 2forte. Their recommended pronunciation \?fo?rt\, however, does not exactly reflect French either: the French would write the word le fort and would rhyme it with English for. So you can take your choice, knowing that someone somewhere will dislike whichever variant you choose.”

N.C. Winters on Wed, 6th May 2009 1:42 pm


@Casey-

The book I was mentioning goes on a whole tangent about America’s fascination with “Frenchifying” many words. Forte, foyer, homage, etc. all tend to get an air of fanciness by those trying to sound more intelligent by alluding to the origins of the word. Ironically, the speaker usually just ends up sounding like a douche, which these same people might well say ‘doo-SHAY’ due to the French/Italian origin.

Unfortunately, many “correct” speakers, ie. pundits, talk show hosts and public speakers fall into the trap, giving credibility to already unfortunate mauling of our language.

@Trish- always a pleasure reading your rants, mostly because you go into insane factual detail or at least intelligent sounding detail (I don’t always have the strength to fact check so much information) and still maintain an air of ranting craziness. This is all said in love.

@Mr. Truant- Oh captain, my captain, more observations on the butchering of our beloved language, please. I would think that 40+ comments warrants another round or two. Not that I’m telling you how to run your blog, though that random grey glitch bar on the right hand side of your ragged paper DOES drive me up the friggin’ wall every time I come here. Also, said in pure sarcastic plutonic love.

Trish on Wed, 6th May 2009 9:52 pm


Hatred sheathed in sarcasm – like fine wine to my twisted soul. Keep it coming, N.C.

Trust me, everything I say is always 100% accurate. Except when it’s not. In which case, your cushion doubles as a flotation device. Exits are located here, here, and here.

It’s taken years and years (no cheap cracks about my age, now) to refine that air of ranting craziness. I’ve elevated it to an art form; of course, it comes at the expense of my sanity, but there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you (cue saccharine-sweet Bryan Adams song).

You didn’t indicate your comments to me were said in sarcastic love – does that mean you said them with real, bottom-of-your-heart, true blue love?

Oh wait, you have no heart. Never mind!

@ncwinters on Wed, 6th May 2009 10:02 pm


I’m not sure real, bottom-of-my-heart, true blue exists in my heart. Not so much that I’m heartless, I just don’t think you could fit that many unicorns and angel farts into one emotion. No, the real treat is the crazy ranting comBINED with the factual data. Nothing backs up a nutty rant like some cold, hard information to make the fact that you’re screaming about something informative at the same time. Much like the coolest mostest baddest ass ‘The More You Know’ bump evah.

And no. No cheap cracks about your age from me. The fact that you’re sugaring up to me isn’t creepy. Some may say you’re robbing the cradle, but I like to think I’m robbing the grave.

Trish on Wed, 6th May 2009 10:25 pm


Several points:

1. I’ve done some research: As unbelievable as it might be, 29 is not all that far from 37. I speak of biological age, of course. The difference in our mental ages is quite a bit more than 8 years, I’d presume.

2. Anyone who moves from the east coast to California can’t be trusted to know his ass from a hole in the ground, so that immediately casts doubts on every word you’ve said here. After all, how are we to know whether you typed these comments while you were high on some weird wheatgrass-acai smoothie, or whatever the hell passes for liquid refreshment out there? Also, you’re an artist. ‘Nuff said.

3. Awww, very cute: http://www.freelanceswitch.com/author/nc/. Are you sure you’re all of 29? I’d have guessed 13, MAYbe 14.

4. Are you trying to turn me on with all this talk of grave-robbing? Dammit Johnny, this is what happens when you let the kids run around without a curfew!

Johnny B. Truant on Wed, 6th May 2009 10:36 pm


I’d just like to say that I read that last link as “Freelance Witch” and was wondering what went on there.

Trish on Wed, 6th May 2009 10:41 pm


Better than what I read it as. Oh, I read “freelance switch”, but the connotation was….certainly not literary.

Perhaps it’s “Free Lance’s Witch”? Some kind of campaign for Lance’s poor spellcaster to be freed from her prison? What kind of prison could hold a witch, anyway? Magic prison, that’s what kind.

Scary shit, my chickadees.

Mike on Wed, 6th May 2009 10:49 pm


Haha I love misreading domain names. My all time favorite is Expert’s Exchange who live on the web at http://expertsexchange.com. I always read that as Expert Sex Change. I’m not sure how one becomes an expert at sex changes, and I’m not really sure I want to find out. I do know that Expert Sex Change is evil because their paywalled tech answers always float to the top of google searches for tech problems which does you no good unless you pay their toll.

Delmont88 on Thu, 7th May 2009 12:04 am


I will not be typing anything that requires the use of proper grammar. I am normally very secure in my use of proper grammar but you folks are making me a bit paranoid.

Trish on Thu, 7th May 2009 12:08 am


Mission: Accomplished.

N.C. Winters on Thu, 7th May 2009 12:32 pm


Wow, amazing how much of my personal information is slapped all over the interwebs. So much for acting the agent provacateur, whatever the hell that means. So much for typing incognito. I feel somehow…violated. Now I’ve gotta go scour the nets for your info Trish. Do you feel that? It’s me, standing right behind you.

And it’s a wheatgrass-echinacea smoothie with the free liberal righteousness boost from Jamba Juice, thank you. Not quite as good as a Bialy, but the weather beats the East Coast any day.

Potsdamer Platz on Thu, 7th May 2009 8:10 pm


By no means am I a grammar nazi, but I do try to write grammatically correct. (You smarties will probably find a lot wrong with this post) My big pet peeve is who vs. whom. I especially hate when morons try to correct me when I use it correctly. If anyone can simply explain affect/effect please let me know. I just guess at this point, I am all ears.

@ncwinters on Thu, 7th May 2009 10:31 pm


A quick one- you’re “affected” by the “effect”. For a more thorough and unbelievably long winded definition: take it away Trish!

Trish on Fri, 8th May 2009 7:53 am


lol I’d disagree with NC, but actually – I can’t resist the chance to talk about grammar. So here’s a (SLIGHTLY) longer explanation:

Affect: When it’s used as a verb (the most common usage), it means “to act on, to produce a change in.” Example: “The sappy movie affected Johnny more than he cared to admit.”

When affect is used as a noun, it means “emotion” (this is typically only used in clinical situations). Example: “Johnny’s lack of affect concerned his friends, and caused them to have him committed to the state psychiatric hospital.”

Effect: When it’s used as a verb, it means “to bring about, accomplish” (this is typically used in political or business situations). Example: President Johnny’s administration effected radical changes.

When it’s used as a noun (the most common usage), it means one of the following:

1. something that is produced by an agency or cause; result; consequence. Example: Exposure to the sun had the effect of toughening his skin.
2. power to produce results; efficacy; force; validity; influence. Example: His protest had no effect.
3. the state of being effective or operative; operation or execution; accomplishment or fulfillment. Example: to bring a plan into effect.
4. a mental or emotional impression produced, as by a painting or a speech.
5. meaning or sense; purpose or intention. Example: She disapproved of the proposal and wrote to that effect.
6. the making of a desired impression. Example: We had the feeling that the big, expensive car was only for effect.
7. an illusory phenomenon: a three-dimensional effect.
8. a real phenomenon (usually named for its discoverer): the Doppler effect.

Ok, so it was a bit longer than I planned. But that should clear things up!

P.S. Long-winded should have a hyphen in it. Just sayin’,

Trish on Fri, 8th May 2009 8:03 am


Oh, and seriously NC – you post comments in your own name, you have a website with your name as the domain, and you really thought you could fly under the radar? Um, ok.

By the way – nice artwork. Very cool and unusual (anyone curious about his work should check out: http://ncwinters.com/). You’re welcome (oh, and the weather out here is gorgeous today. I’ll think of you as I enjoy my Bialy-with-cream-cheese out on the patio; the liberal righteousness is free with the coffee).

I don’t mind if people check me out. After all, my website is right there ? in my name, so I’m not exactly trying to hide. I even have a pic of my tat on my Flickr (widget on the website), so how much could I be trying to hide?

Just…stop breathing in my ear. It’s distracting.

The Economy Isn’t Happening » Blog Archive » I’ve literally lost my mind. Anyone seen it? on Fri, 8th May 2009 8:17 am


[...] recent flurry of activity surrounding my “Um, words…” post has led me to believe [...]

Johnny B. Truant on Fri, 8th May 2009 8:18 am


Okay, dorks… move along to this one:
http://www.theeconomyisnthappening.com/blog/personal-musings/literally-lost-mind/

@ncwinters on Fri, 8th May 2009 7:56 pm


I refuse to take your redirection, Johnny. You’re not the boss of me. I just may comment on this thread (in addition to others) LITERALLY until the end of time.

Kee-rist, Trish! I think the grammar center in your brain may literally be intertwined with your erogenous zones. But true enough, as an artist (’nuff said) my goal has been to try and spread my name over as much of the internet as possible. I’ve given up trying to hide the personal info that I don’t want you to find.

I have to add: “Johnny’s lack of effect concerned his friends, and caused them to have him committed to the state comedy correction facility.” Ha, I make funnys.

As for the gushing praise, sheesh. A guy can only take so much ego stroking before collapsing in a heap. Now I’ve gotta be all gracious and shit. Thanks, and after cruising your blog (for chicks) I’ve determined that you aren’t as evil as you come off over here. One may even venture to say charming. No wait, that’s pushing it a little too far.

Trish on Sat, 9th May 2009 12:50 am


The grammar center of my brain IS my erogenous center. There’s nothing weird about that, right?

See? I’m doing you a favor by pimping you out. Or, uh, something like that.

Gushing praise? That was gushing praise to you? Dude, were you beaten regularly as a child? I called your work cool and unusual. And nice. At most, I’d say that was tepid.

Great, now I’m gonna be anxious all weekend because I’ll be worried that you’re going to think I don’t like your work. GODDAMN YOU, BRAIN!

Wait – charming? Charming? Dude, what the fuck? I toss you a couple of (tepid) compliments and you slap me with a “charming”? Man. Next thing you’re gonna say I’m a “lady”. And then I really will Lose My Shit.

Oh, and as for the ego stroking thing, that’s just a stamina issue. They have pills to help with that (but call your doctor if your ego stays up for 4 or more hours, I hear that’s bad….).

@ncwinters on Sat, 9th May 2009 3:49 am


Nice, a 4 hour ego? I could be a pretentious ass for half the day! Oh wait, too late. Heh, I always say ’sir’ and ‘ma’am’ to most people. Not so much a formal or respect thing, more a habit. I’ll call my friend’s four year old kid ’sir’ and then call my dad the same. Guys don’t seem to mind, but call anyone over 22 ma’am? Holy freaking God. You’d think they heard ‘hey old bag, sit down before you break a hip, you crusty old maid’.

I like how Lose My Shit is capitalized, like it’s some kind of official holy state of being. After the Creation and before the Rapture, God was in a brief state of Losing His Shit. That’s in like, Ecclesiastes or something right? I’m not totally up on my bible chapters. They need a glossary or something. Index? Bibliography? Something.

Wonder how long we can keep this thread going. We need more people to participate. It beats having to write my own blog post.

What?

Mike Stankavich on Sat, 9th May 2009 7:17 am


LOL Johnny, you’ll have to rename this one the baby humor blog incubator.

Trish on Sat, 9th May 2009 8:56 am


You “could be” a pretentious ass for half the day? Well first, I think that ship has already sailed. Second, the last I checked, a day lasts 24 hours, of which half is 12 hours. But I assume you were referring to am 8-hour work day – hey, isn’t that why you became an artist? So you wouldn’t have to work a real, 9-5 job?

What?

Lose My Shit is actually from the Book of Crap, a little-known chapter between the books of Leviticus and Numbers (no one actually ever reads those boring-ass books, which explains why it’s flown under the radar for so long). If you didn’t know better, you’d think I was actually knowledgeable. Bullshitting, my friend – elevated to an art form.

Also, a 20-something clerk called me “Ma’am” REPEATEDLY yesterday. It started to grate on my nerves after, oh, the 13th time. Fucking whippersnapper.

NC, I’m thinking you need to get your ass on Twitter so we can have these exchanges without cluttering up JBT’s blog. Hie your ass there, pronto!

Julia on Sat, 9th May 2009 3:42 pm


Straight from Merriam-Webster (11th edition):

nauseous: 1. causing nausea or disgust: NAUSEATING. 2. affected with nausea or disgust

Usage: Those who insist that nauseous can properly be used only in sense 1 and that in sense 2 it is an error for nauseated are mistaken. Current evidence shows these facts: nauseous is most frequently used to mean physically affected with nausea, usu. after a linking verb such as feel or become; figurative use is quite a bit less frequent. Use of nauseous in sense 1 is much more often figurative than literal, and this use appears to be losing ground to nauseating. Nauseated is used more widely than nauseous in sense 2.

@ncwinters on Mon, 11th May 2009 1:36 am


Awesome.

Don’t look now, Trish but I’ve been following you for at least two days now. As of this instant you have 1,657 followers, and I’m one of them. You may wish to check your ‘followers’ list once in awhile. To be fair, I was very secretive and hid my identity behind a cryptic pseudonym. I am the elusive ncwinters, which I also secretly hid in my blog comments handle: @ncwinters. I know, deceptive and sly and you honestly can’t be blamed for missing it. Not everyone can be the interwebs ninja I am. Don’t beat yourself up about it though, it isn’t like we just recently had a conversation about my placement all over the web.

Sure, this makes you look like some self-important idealogue who’s too good to throw a bone to the peasants. Sure, you have so many followers you can’t even keep track of them, because frankly, who has the time? Just remember that some words hurt, and your words, like daggers.

Can you feel you me Trish? Can you feel me, in the same Twitterverse as you? Breathing down your neck? That prickling sensation is me, standing right behind you.

Trish on Wed, 13th May 2009 4:32 pm


It’s taken me 3 days to come up with a response cuz, you know, waiting periods and all. Stupid state law.

Anyway. I knew you were following me. It’s called IGNORING. Don’t make me block your ass, Marianne.

And stop breathing down my neck – you’re making my hair frizz.

N.C. Winters on Wed, 13th May 2009 5:34 pm


Three days to come up with something and that’s what I get? Sheesh. I at least learned something new today. Was thinking it was a typo that you said ‘Hie yourself up there’. But again, Ms. Language and Grammar Dominatrix of course chooses her words carefully, and I was forced to look it up.

So like, you know, respect.

Trish on Fri, 15th May 2009 9:28 pm


I’m so sorry for having a life. I understand that you might not understand the concept, though.

So glad I could teach you a new word; but you know, Sesame Street is also a great place to expand your vocabulary. I hear today’s show was sponsored by the letters Z and O.

Oh admit it, you have no respect for me. I don’t blame you, really; being beaten as a child must have truly messed with your head, so you get a free pass on that one.

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