Here’s how we play:

This will be a 2-day affair. I’ll write the Mad Lib today and will leave some blanks for you to fill in. I’ll number the blanks, and you fill them in within 24 hours by leaving your numbered responses in the comments section. Then, tomorrow, I’ll sort through your responses, note the good ones, and make fun of the bad ones.

For those of you reading this on Facebook, don’t reply there. Instead, just hop over to my blog and leave your answers there so that they’re all together for everyone to see.

Got it? This will either be really funny or it will suck nuts.

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Saturday was Valentine’s Day. My wife and I have two kids, so it’s not like we were going to get any _____________(1) with which to get all ________(2) and _________(3), but we also haven’t yet totally given up on the ___________(4) as both of our respective ___________(5) seem to have. This makes for a __________ ____________(6). Nothing spells ___________(7) like __________(8) at your son to ________(9) his damn __________(10) while your wife ignores you to _______(11) food into the ___________(12).

And what’s more, we no longer have any real idea how to __________________(13). The kids have so accustomed us to having a ________(14) of _________(15) during a meal that when we’re alone, it’s totally awkward like when you go out alone with __________(16) who you actually only know through ________(17), and without that other person there, you’re both all like, “Do you like cheese? Because I think it’s awesome. [Heavy silence.] So, clubbing seals is a bummer, huh?”

So we did the ____________(18) thing. We sent Austin off to stay with ___________(19) for the night, because he wasn’t going to dramatically alter the _____________(20) she was going to have with ____________(21) at Bob Evans. We had to keep the baby. Then we made chicken parmesan, opened a bottle of _____________(22), and ate it while watching Borat after she was asleep.

All in all, I’d have to say that ____________________(23).