Comments on: Kids are messed up

By: John

John — Thu, 14 May 2009 16:11:38 +0000

Reader with kids thinks it’s great, get it all, and can relate. Cute pictures, funny stuff. Kids are way funnier than network television, even kids on network television for some reason.

By: Trish

Trish — Thu, 14 May 2009 12:15:07 +0000

That’s the kids sucking the very will to live out of you.

But on a brighter note, Mike is evidence that after they grow up you do, in fact, get your will to live back. Or at least the will to drink beer, which really, is all I ask.

By: Johnny B. Truant

Johnny B. Truant — Thu, 14 May 2009 00:47:42 +0000

It’s like, I WANT to hate Mike for these comments, but I can’t quite manage it.

By: Mike Drips

Mike Drips — Wed, 13 May 2009 23:09:01 +0000

My kid is 22. This is a good thing for the following reasons: 1) I no longer have to change diapers. 2) My kid can not only bring me a beer, but she can DRIVE HER OWN CAR TO THE STORE AND BUY ME BEER!

Is this living high or what? Hell that is reason enough just to have kids!

And they’re funny too, like they might say “Mommy since Daddy invested our future in loser real estate holding in Cleveland could you please cheer us up by saying we’re adopted?”

OK, resuming radio silence….

By: N.C. Winters

N.C. Winters — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:14:23 +0000

Fair enough. But as I’ve stated (somewhere, my blog I think) before: once I am able to squeeze a bowling ball through MY ladyhole, I’ll start saying WE’RE pregnant, until then, SHE’s pregnant, and not me. I should have said OUR kid in that instance though, fair enough. I should know the grammar fetishist would catch me on something like that.

My swimmers can get the job done, as long as they’re wearing water wings and stay in the shallow end. Run with it. Let’s see whatcha got.

By: Trish

Trish — Wed, 13 May 2009 20:18:49 +0000

I love this, NC – your wife is nearly due with “her” kid? What, you had a friend come in and lend a hand? That just opens you up for ALL kinds of jokes about your manhood (which I will refrain from making because I’m a lady and shit).

But I will say this:

What, the boys can’t swim?

By: N.C. Winters

N.C. Winters — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:41:55 +0000

Damn, Trish beat me to the punch (which she’ll make into some kind of sexual thing, I’m sure) about the clown flogging. Now I have to go back and search through all your posts about clowns, flogging, and/or the circus. And for the record, if you’ll note, SHE’s doing all the talking about what turns ME on. How about THAT for the random USE of CAPS?

Also, my wife’s nearly due with her kid, that throws me into some kind of limbo-mid group about kids, though I totally admit I lie in the ‘without children’ group. I’m looking forward to my kids doing their own cool random crap that is amusing, though for now I can appreciate that everyone else’s children are totally lame most of the time.

By: Claire

Claire — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:29:02 +0000

This IS a good post, Johnny…thanks for reminding me that I’m not the only one with the weird kids. Or thinking my kids are weird, evil monsters. Oh wait…you didn’t say that.

By: Johnny B. Truant

Johnny B. Truant — Wed, 13 May 2009 17:46:23 +0000

Rodeo clowns. You don’t fuck with those guys.

BTW, if you haven’t seen it, you should watch “Shakes the Clown.” Priceless.

By: Trish

Trish — Wed, 13 May 2009 17:42:51 +0000

When should we expect that post about flogging circus clowns (is there any other kind of clown, anyway?)?