Okay, I kind of don’t quit in a way after all, while still essentially remaining quitted on the thing I quit last time

November 5, 2009 by Johnny
Filed under: Random crap 

Let’s talk about goals yet again, shall we?

In August, I set a goal to lose 22 pounds. I didn’t really need to lose that weight (I would have had the abs of a sexy, sexy (sexy!) cover model at my finish weight), so the goal was an exercise in discipline, and in teaching myself how to once again have a feeling of control in my life.

Then, two weeks ago, I gave up on that goal because I felt I had regained the control and no longer cared about having sexier abs.

The post I wrote about quitting was supposed to be about determining when a goal is worth pursuing — and when you’re a douche to doggedly chase a goal that has stopped being something you care to be, do, or have. A lot of people weighed in on my decision to quit, and the slight consensus was that my take on quitting was a refreshing, relieving look at goals, and how it’s nice to have permission to quit something that has become pointless to you.

What a bunch of fucking enablers you all are.

Okay, kidding… maybe. But see, the thing is, if you happened to be watching me closely on Twitter the day after that second post ran, you would have seen some indecision and some second-guessing. A lot of it, actually. I asked people to read the post and let me know if it was a cop-out, or if I was justified in abandoning the goal. For a long time, the vote seemed to be about 50/50. Eventually, more and more people (including two life coaches) said that quitting was the sound decision if the goals were no longer compelling to me, so I accepted that as the right answer.

But there were a few problems with this:

1. I could not honestly tell if I was quitting the goal because it had become an unworthy goal or because I just plain didn’t want to do it. Because you know what? I definitely didn’t want to do it.

2. The reasoning behind a “correct” decision to stop pursuing a goal always sounds a whole lot like justification. Like, if I were being a douche by quitting and was just trying to justify an untenable decision to quit, I would have said a lot of the same things.

3. Likewise, people who said, “You’re okay to quit” could just as easy have been enablers. If you are trying to quit smoking and you break down and light up after a stressful day and your smoker buddy says, “Hell, just ONE after a day like that won’t hurt you,” that’s enabling. The line between that and saying it’s okay when it really is okay is a very, very fine one.

4. People who commit to goals and then wimp out without good reason, just because they want to stop trying, are real dickheads.

5. I don’t want to be a dickhead.

So there I was, back and forth, trying to decide if I was being a dickhead or if I was actually stopping pursuit of a goal that had become pointless.

I didn’t want to keep starving myself to get down to 190 pounds. And I didn’t want to do the nutty bodybuilder diet I knew from past experience it would take to make it happen.

But I really, really didn’t want to be a dickhead.

So thanks to the suggestions of some cool and smart folks in the comments and on Twitter, I decided on a compromise. One that wouldn’t conflict with my other goals or my love of the occasional Pop Tart.

I decided to set a new physical goal to replace the weight-loss goal. A big goal, but a better one.

And really, the whole situation smacks of Well, duh.

I mean, I know myself. The fall and winter, when my mood can sometimes be uneven and I seem to want to hibernate, is not the time to try to get cover model abs. Especially given that I’m a father of two and honestly don’t give a big enough shit about that anymore.

In the winter, as a competitive father of two who likes to be strong and fast and awesome, the right goal is not an aesthetic goal… it’s a performance goal. Forget fat. What I like is to lift more and jump higher. I like to learn new tricks. Those things jazz me. Those will get me up and moving. Those will give me the control and dickhead prevention I’m looking for without conflicting with my other values.

So for those of you who care, I’m going to lay out a set of new physical goals.

And for those of you who are nuts, you may want to join me. Craig from Bloomverse jumped on this right away. In fact, it was his idea that he and I should go head to head and bust each other’s nuts. And dammit if I don’t have a formidable competitor on my hands. He already can do more L-pullups than I can (read about those further down), and those are HAAAAAAARD.

So here’s the plan: We’re going to do the “How Fit Are You” challenge from Crossfit.com. In fact, here’s the document we’ll be following. It’s a series of five physical tests, to be performed one each day for five consecutive days, in the order given.

You can score 4, 8, 12, 16, or 20 points on each test, based on a scoring system that again is in the documentation.

My goal is to score 28 points total. If you think that’s a weak goal, then you’re either Superman or haven’t tried much Crossfit. These tests are hard as hell! Most people would score zero.

For summary, because the people bored with this concept have already stopped reading anyway, I’ve written out the tests and my test-specific goals below.

(By the way, if you’re thinking of joining us, read the descriptions of the tests very carefully to get the full details, because it’s easy to do stuff halfway, and nobody wants your cheater ass cheating.)

So, in a nutshell:

Test #1: Maximum bench press immediately followed by maximal pullups
GOAL: 8 points. I’m not a good bencher, but 275 x 29 pullups will get me my 8.

Test #2: 15 clean and jerks at a fixed weight without putting the bar down
GOAL: 12 points, which would be using 160 pounds.

Test #3: Maximal Tabata squats followed by max muscle-ups in 4 minutes
GOAL: 0 points. Lofty, huh? The thing is, you need at least 8-9 muscle ups to have a prayer of scoring, and I can’t do one after trying on and off for years. So my goal is to do one muscle-up. I’ll be using rings, but using a bar is also fine.

Test #4: Max deadlift followed immediately by maximal handstand pushups
NOTE: No cheating on the handstand pushups. You have to put your hands on books or paralettes so that your ears can go as low as your hands.
GOAL: 4 points. I’d like to do it with a 500 pound deadlift and 7 HSPUs.

Test #5: Run 800 meters (1/2 mile), then do 21 thrusters (a front squat combined with a push press), then do 21 L-pullups (pullups with your legs in front of you)
GOAL: 4 points, which means finishing the above inside of six minutes.

So that’s it. Craig and I haven’t picked a firm due date yet, so I’m doing it for us: January 15th. We have to have done our tests and submitted our results by then. Doing it early is okay, as long as we do all of the tests in five consecutive days in the order given.

Hopefully this goal revision saves me from being a dickhead. Hopefully.

 

 

 

RELATED POSTS:

  1. How to fail at your goals
  2. I quit.
  3. Fear of a Truant Planet

Tags:

Comments

23 Comments on Okay, I kind of don’t quit in a way after all, while still essentially remaining quitted on the thing I quit last time

  1. Craig | BloomVerse on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 8:44 am

    2. It’s on like Donkey Kong.

  2. Sandi Abbott on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 9:16 am

    3. Johnny, your posts are becoming my new bad habit. Bad because I would not let my son use the words you use, but I laugh just the same. What a hypocrite!

    Anyway, I think your new and improved goal is much better. If something is pointless to you, you won’t be able to motivate yourself to do it. And motivation is IMPORTANT.

    Besides, goals need to change as you change. I’ve had to give up on some goals that no longer fit who I was and take on even harder goals.

    Like giving up homeschooling my kids through high school and take on the goal of starting my own business. It’s the last thing I thought I’d ever do. But when my circumstances changed, I knew I had to change.

    And I’m not just talking about the economy tanking and me needing money. I saw that my husband no longer supported it, my son was getting antsy and God had apparently closed the doors to my simultaneously working and homeschooling. So, kicking and screaming, I had to change my goals. And now I’m so glad I did.

    Wow, this comment has become as long as your post! Sorry, I’ve had my second cup of coffee and so that’s what happens ;)

  3. Susan on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 10:03 am

    4. “A lot of people weighed in on my decision to quit…”

    Intentional pun?

    :-D

  4. DeeMarief on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 11:05 am

    5. Impressive turnaround…thus far.   

    Still, I appreciate the peek into your tough self talk on this issue.    

    Funny side: When the men in my life (husband, son, son-in-law, etc) find out I read your “expletive rich” blog posts, my covert method of disciplining their language when we’re together will be compromised. From “innocent prude” to “bossy?” since I WILL want to maintain some sort of control over what I hear when. An unexpected dilemma for a grandma.

    (But it obviously doesn’t worry me enough to stop reading your very entertaining musings. Carry on. LOL)   

    Oh, and Good luck! 

  5. Johnny on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 11:12 am

    6. I love that my language causes so many unintentional side-effects.

    By the way, Craig, I have already done the 8-point version of test #2, with 135 pounds. Word.

  6. Craig | BloomVerse on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 11:33 am

    7. Word indeed, Mr. Truant. Nicely done!

    I unfortunately got sidelined from my training this past week. My entire family has been “spreading the love” and a cold had my body begging me to leave it alone as it fought it off.

    But I’m just about back to 100% and it’ll be back to business in a day or so.

  7. Dave Doolin on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 3:39 pm

    8. You’re either a big boy, or you’ve been down this road before. I’m 5/8 – 185 – and these are bout the limit of what I’d attempt at age 48. Except for the deadlist, I wou’dn’t go for more than about 315. And if you can do cleans at 160, that’s pretty monster.

    Be careful. I’ve paid the price for a split second of inattention a couple of times. It’s really unpleasant.

    -d

  8. Johnny on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 4:02 pm

    9. Craig, stop being a pussy.

    Dave… I’ve been lifting for 16 years, so I know what you’re talking about. I broke my arm in the weight room once… that was fun. I had to ask a worker to take off my headphones because I didn’t want to let go of my arm, which had taken on a Z shape. Usually I’m incredibly safety conscious, though.

  9. Aislyn Laurent on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 4:09 pm

    10. 1. Your bloody insane. I’m the size of a wheat thin and when my German Shepherd decides to take off I go flying, cramps and all.

    2. I didn’t think you were being a dickhead, but good for you! Manly and awesome!

    3. Good luck, don’t explode. I totally think you can do it! W00t! I’ll make cookies in your honor!

  10. Rachel on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 7:22 pm

    11. Awesome. You also inspired me to get my ass in shape. Well, not so much inspired, but gave me a kick in the ass. I play pro football (yep and I’m a girl) – for the DC Divas (www.dcdivas.com) . I took last season off, and have some serious work to do – and our camp is in the middle of December (our season is spring/summer)

    Cross fit is the shit too. Count me in. I haven’t looked at the points on the crossfit website, but I’m a little scared I might score a zero. Which is depressing.

  11. mr-crash on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 7:51 pm

    12. If I did anything from Crossfit, i’d likely score negative points.

    Someone I know said we should always set our goals in stiff jelly. They got offered a job, which they’d wanted for years. But upon starting the job, they were told they’d have to sign an NDA and couldn’t really use anything they had learned in the job once they left. The problem was, it would be impossible to determine what they’d learned in the job and it was effectively a very broad non-compete agreement. Eventually she decided not to take up the position she’d been offered and was really better off for it – though not immediately and it was a very difficult decision emotionally. To say no to something you’ve wanted for a long time is a hard thing.

    tl;dr: goals are nice. If they do what we want them to do. If they don’t, they’re really just words. Reevaluating them at the right time is a sign of growth, not failure.

  12. Catherine Azzarello on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 8:04 pm

    13. I’m impressed. And amused.

    Go for it! Having a partner/competitor always helps.

    Personally, I’d have compromised and changed the goal to 11 pounds…

  13. Johnny on Thu, 5th Nov 2009 9:32 pm

    14. Anyone who is joining in had beter post up their shit regularly!

    We’re into kicking some ass around here.

  14. Delmont 88 on Mon, 9th Nov 2009 10:38 pm

    15. Crimony… dude… we were supposed to meet at 190, remember?

    now your telling me I have to get to 204?

    yeah, we are never gonna meet… and I eat Oreos, and Dorito’s and bacon all the time…

  15. Johnny on Tue, 10th Nov 2009 9:17 pm

    16. Or you could just do the HFAY challenge. Weight-based goals are soooooo October.

    Weird that you would comment… I was just thinking of you the other day. Not sure why. Perhaps it involved crazy stuff my son was doing; that feels likely.

  16. Mike Stankavich on Wed, 11th Nov 2009 8:03 pm

    17. Go for it JBT! You are so right – crossfit is some hardcore shiz. Give me a few months to catch up and I’ll play too.

    I just restarted heavy lifting after six months off because I didn’t get off my lazy ass to set up my home gym after I moved. One key learning from last week – don’t restart a 5×5 squats program just before going on a road trip. I thought I was pussing out by restarting at only 95 pounds (down from 230 6 months ago), but my legs were still a solid mass of pain for the entire trip. My wife was totally laughing at me.

  17. Rachel on Thu, 12th Nov 2009 12:55 am

    18. Tomorrow = Day #1 of my 2 week free trial to the local Crossfit gym.

  18. Johnny on Thu, 12th Nov 2009 9:33 pm

    19. Mike and Rachel, that’s so badass. Why not toss your hats into the ring now? You have some time to train, and remember… we’re all really just in competition with ourselves!

  19. Rachel on Thu, 12th Nov 2009 11:48 pm

    20. @Johnny – I’m in. I have a hard time saying no to a challenge. Add tequila and this is an issue. But crossfit challenge – no harm in that.

    @Mike Stankavich – I just found out today how much what I can lift has decreased over the last 6 or so months myself. I used to be a badass. With bad form. Today, I went to squatting school. It was humbling. My legs aren’t happy with me right now.

  20. Johnny on Mon, 16th Nov 2009 5:21 pm

    21. So any initial score ideas? Remember, some of CF’s biggest stars are women.

    I think I’m on target. This is going to be awesome.

  21. terena on Fri, 20th Nov 2009 11:04 am

    22. Perfect! This is exactly what I need because since I passed 40 ( a few years ago) I’ve been feeling like I need to get a handle on my health better and not let myself go from sitting at my computer all, writing fabu stories while eating cookies.

  22. Rachel on Mon, 14th Dec 2009 1:05 am

    23. Initial scores. . .ugh – I think I might be happy with living through the tests. . .

  23. Johnny on Mon, 14th Dec 2009 8:23 am

    24. It’s getting interesting, too. I should get #1 and #2’s goals based on what I’m doing now, but I’m still doubting that muscle-up in #3, and my handstand pushups are going WAY slower than they should be. And, I really need to put the components of #5 together for a few dry runs. Only a month left!

Tell me what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!