Thanks for the update on the diet. Too bad. I really need more estrogen not testosterone. Maybe there’s a diet for that…

Anne @alivenkickin

I read your post the other day but got called away before I could comment. I agree with those that say this is a healthy choice, not a cop out. If I makes you feel any better, I’ve been arguing with myself for days over not registering for Project Mojave. The thing was, I was interested and know I like you and was eager to learn from the other folks involved because what I’ve seen of them makes me think we’re on the same wavelength, but dude, I take care of 4 small boys every day and while I *could* have done it, the quality of my life, and my family’s life would have suffered. There just aren’t enough hours in the day!

And truth be told, while I was interested and would have loved to participate and learn, I don’t have any burning desire for a business right now and so decided to give it a pass this time. The thing is, although I question if I was using my kids as a cop out, I think that it’s not about missing out on Project Mojave (though it would have been awesome and in other circumstances I think I would have thrived in that environment) it’s about feeling like my image of myself as a tough, go-getter was somehow damaged.

Which I think you and Tim would tell me is bullshit and that making the choice I did was a sound one given my circumstances and current priorities, number one being my children and family.

Now if you were overweight or had a compelling health reason to lose the weight, I might feel differently. Just like you’d probably feel differently about my decision if I had a compelling need to get a business off the ground or was constantly moaning and groaning about being unhappy and wanting a freedom business. Which is not the case for either of us, so we will want to stop worrying about it (edited out probably should for Tim’s sake).

Which is my long winded way of saying I feel you, man.

The truth is, I don’t really need to lose any weight. 205 is a very good, very lean weight for me. This was more about discipline.

However, it still feels like a cop-out because the truth is that I DO like to eat and fucking HATE to diet. So I’m enjoying dropping the goal. That makes me suspicious.

Anyway, I’m not looking for the approval of others, but I do tend to believe that if everyone thinks one thing and you think the opposite, you may be the crazy one. Since this vote (also on Twitter) seemed to go 50/50, I have no consensus.

What I think I may do is to find a new, equally tough goal that doesn’t create the ecology issue that Duff mentioned.

I’m thinking I may have another go at Crossfit’s “How Fit Are You?” test. I’ll find a score that seems hard and set my goal around that. I’ll still take a beating, but get to not get weak in the doing. Anyone curious can Google that and, if you’re awesome, try it along with me.

Thanks again.

P.S. What’s that online diet you talked about? Been trying to lose 15 lbs. forever.

Anne @alivenkickin

In NLP terms, you ran into what’s called an “ecology” problem, that is the goal you set didn’t quite fit with other unconscious goals.

Adjusting course is exactly what is required in such a case, although it definitely is an art to know when you are simply dropping the ball because it is hard vs. what you are more deeply wanting.

You should be proud to lose what you have. Perhaps your new goal can be to maintain your weight. As someone who knows… when you give yourself permission to say “fuck it” to your scale, those Oreos somehow multiply and before you know it, you’re right back to where you started. I don’t think this phenomenon is exclusive to weight, either.

So… no. You’re not getting my hugs to say everything’s going to be just fine if you abandon your promise to yourself. If you replace it with something that is healthy for your mind and body, though… well… I think I can dig it.

Everything is good in moderation, including moderation.

*note: my approval plus $1.50 still doesn’t get you a cup of coffee in most places.