Comments on: Hello, I’m five years old

By: Johnny

Johnny — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:56:00 +0000

So did you do it, Dan?

It’s so badass. I’m now working with the guy instructor and he was on the national team and has worked with Olympians. I keep proposing complicated stuff to teach me and he always says, “Oh, that’s EASY!” and then it’s hard as shit.

By: Dan Cosgrove

Dan Cosgrove — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:50:47 +0000

I had the exact same experience when I wanted to learn gymnastics at 26. I guess I’m supposed to just play golf or something.

They need to have t-shirts that say ‘I’m not a creep’

By: Anne

Anne — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 05:42:15 +0000

Please take ballet, JohnnyB – then put it on YouTube. Love the picture of Gary. This was a great (and hilarious) post.

By: Johnny

Johnny — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:59:43 +0000

Which sucks, because I still love the music.

By: Johnny

Johnny — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:59:28 +0000

Saying “I’m not a creep” is like explaining why a joke is funny. If you have to do it, you’ve already failed.

Incidentally, I went to the Warped Tour when I was 25 and felt like an old man. Can’t imagine going now.

By: Drew @ Cook Like Your Grandmother

Drew @ Cook Like Your Grandmother — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:56:19 +0000

And by the way, when you feel compelled to tell people, “I’m not a creep,” do you really think they’re buying it?

By: Drew @ Cook Like Your Grandmother

Drew @ Cook Like Your Grandmother — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:32:12 +0000

Johnny, I’ve got two girls so our house if fully of Barbies and Build-a-Bear animals. Not a Transformer in sight. Which is why the whole time I was watching the movie — which, by the way, was freaking awesome (haven’t seen T2 yet [and also, by the way, didn't T2 used to refer to The Terminator?]) — I kept thinking, “Okay, fine, but do the names have to be so ridiculous?”

Tracy, several years ago a friend suggested we all go out to a club. I said I can’t, because I’m Creepy Older Guy. If I shave my head and dress like an idiot I can maybe shave 15 years off my apparent age, but this hairline don’t lie.

By: Tracy

Tracy — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:55:44 +0000

I’m glad you tweeted this so I could read the rest. It reminded me of when I was 19 or so going out clubbing and being totally and completely creeped out by the very old dudes that were there. They must have been your age!

Maybe ballet dad will be the soccer mom of 2010.

By: Johnny

Johnny — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 00:39:05 +0000

Weird. I wonder why that got cut off?

I’ve added back in the truly emasculating part. Enjoy.

By: Mr Crash

Mr Crash — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 00:17:15 +0000

Johnny told me the rest of this story one time, it goes like this:

she merged my class with an adults class on fencing. Figuring that fencing had very little to do with gymnastics, that it might actually make me go away. What she was neglecting to realise was the simple fact that being a pirate is awesome and some serious swashbuckling skills would definitely help on my next voyage across the high seas. But apparently people don’t take you seriously if you turn up to a fencing class with a parrot and an eye patch.

See what you make me do when you don’t finish your posts?… Please finish next time, I’m terrible at this